Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 107 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome to the Apple Store. Would you like a gun with your iPod?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.01.05
Whatever. Agent Sean offers up his bachelor pad to his buddy and Vaughn just says that he's leaving. There's a beat, then Sean realizes that Vaughn means he's leaving the CIA. "Is this because of Sydney?" says Sean. "It's not because of Sydney," says Vaughn. "It's because last year sucked." Amen, brother. And, yeah, that's a shout-out to you, me, and everyone who thought that last year, indeed, sucked. Sean's all, dude? Have you talked to Sydney lately? Vaughn's all, no, dude. Not this week, not last week. In fact, I haven't talked to her since last MAY, but that's not important right now. Sean goes on to inform him that Sydney quit that afternoon. Vaughn gets a look on his face that's either shock or gas. I'm not sure which. Maybe he's about to launch into another expository paragraph. Run for your lives!
Elsewhere on the continent, Sydney's walking through a subway station. Originally, I thought she was in D.C., but considering stuff that happens later in the episode, I've changed that opinion and now believe she's in Hell-Lay. Not that you care. Also? The second I saw her walking through the station, I totally knew she was going off to some secret organization à la Oops Center. I just knew. Because I'm psychic. And your boyfriend's sleeping with your next-door neighbor. Trust me. So, we're walking, we're walking, we're walking. Then we're riding, we're riding, we're riding. Syd pulls a pass card out of a red envelope and exits the train as the Mysterious Strings of Secret Passageways trill across the soundtrack. Syd looks around and saunters down to a staircase at the end of a platform. She pulls out the pass card, walks up to a door, slides the card through, opens the door, and walks through. The door shuts and we get a shot of the "WARNING: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY" sign of the door. Hence the title of this episode. And so much more.