Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Long Live The (Drag) Queen
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2002
The Phoebeast takes a moment to look downcast at the idea of abandoning her sisters, then flares into a rage when the Craptin in the parlor increases in volume. D'Eartha rises with the now-empty glass and, in an attempt to placate the furious Phoebeast, explains that The Sole has much work to do if he is ever to mend the various rifts that erupted in the Underworld when the last Source was vanquished. The Phoebeast couldn't care less. As far as she's concerned, The Sole is working too damn much, and she refuses to have him continue to ignore her needs in favor of running his little kingdom. She snottily dismisses D'Eartha. D'Eartha pauses to remind The Phoebeast to drink the remaining glass of tonic in the morning, then flares out with an unnecessarily obsequious nod of her head. D'Eartha, sweetheart. Phoebe should be bowing to you. The Phoebeast glowers, then rises from her bed in a snit. She barrels out into the parlor, interrupting whatever Craptin game The Sole is playing with his minions. Just in time, too, by the looks of things. One of the minions is on his knees before The Sole, and The Sole has a firm grip on the back of the minion's head. I should probably add that they've hired some pretty damn fine tertiary demonic ass this week, and it's about time. Where were all these boys when we had to suffer through the likes of Andras and Eames and Vornack and Tarquin? The Phoebeast orders her husband to bed, as it's after midnight. The minion closest to The Phoebeast assures her that they've almost completed the ceremony. "Almost doesn't work" for The Phoebeast, so she opens her palm and directs a jet of fire his way, flaming his ass right on out of the penthouse. Another minion -- this one with flashing dark eyes, pouty lips, dangerous eyebrows, and criminal cheekbones -- wheels around to confront her. The Phoebeast flings out her other hand, and another fine piece of demonic ass fries its way to Hell. The minion kneeling before The Sole rises to squiggle out, followed by the remaining tertiary dark demonic forces. The Sole sighs, "I thought we talked about this." "Sorry," The Phoebeast doofs, promo-style. "Hormones." Credits.
Manor attic. Piper sits at a table in the foreground, funneling a mint-green opaque liquid into a vial as Raige browses through the Book of Shadows in the corner. Raige snorts in frustration that she's been through the Book a dozen times, and she still can't find a spell to rectify the Phoebeast dilemma. Piper, in an odd, vaguely disengaged tone of voice, reminds Raige that The Phoebeast chose evil for herself, so the Book is of no use in their current situation. Raige counters that The Phoebeast is merely "being influenced by the baby inside." Piper notes that they could have offset that influence had they learned of it earlier, but now it's too late. She gathers up various clinking vials from the table. Raige snits, "Will you just stop with the potions already? You've already overrun the kitchen. I'd say we have enough." Piper distractedly displays the mint-green vial over her shoulder and explains that it replicates her freezing power, but they should use it only in an emergency, as it also scalds flesh. Oh, Lord. I raise my hand. Piper, honey? Yeah -- over here. Are you on this potion bender because you believe you're about to die? Because can't you just freeze The Phoebeast yourself now that she's literally evil? Yes? No? Sigh. Fine. Don't answer me. Raige slams the Book shut with a furious "No! I will not scald Phoebe's flesh. She's still our sister!" She rises to her feet to storm over to Piper's side, and Christ on a stick, Raige. Your blouse. It's a black spaghetti-strapped halter, which wouldn't be so bad were it not for the rose-colored strip of satin threaded through broad loops above her breasts and knotted into a decorative necktie that dangles down over her cleavage. Where do they find this shit? More importantly, why does Rose McGowan agree to wear it?