Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Long Live The (Drag) Queen
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2002
Anyway, The Phoebeast and The Sole snipe at each other about the nature of good and evil for far too long. She feels betrayed and conflicted and confused. He tells her that Piper and Raige will die if Phoebe doesn't partake of D'Eartha's purely evil urine. Phoebe finally gives in and downs the tonic in one gulp. He pulls her into an embrace, whispering of his love for her in her ear. Then he off-handedly mentions the whole "Greg is now probationary Baco Bits" thing. Phoebe pushes away, shuddering that if he killed the innocent, then Piper and Raige will head to the penthouse to kill him. Yes, Phoebe. Which is why I don't understand why you two are still living in the same damn city as your sisters. I realize The Sole Of All Evil and His Queen might have a few problems getting past a New York City co-op board, what with the smoke from all that hellfire and brimstone wafting through the ventilation system and everything, but couldn't you have at least considered moving to the opposite coast? Boston? Miami? Baltimore? Hell, if I were you, I'd have been in Asia weeks ago. Anyway, The Sole picks up on Phoebe's fears regarding her sisters and leads, "Phoebe, if it comes down to them or us..." "Oh, God," Phoebe splutters with her hand at her mouth, and she dives through the bathroom door. In the faint bluish light creeping in from the city sky outside the bathroom's windows, Phoebe drapes herself over the toilet and vomits up D'Eartha's purely evil urine into the bowl. The Sole raps at the locked door, repeatedly calling her name. Phoebe collapses over the sink to splash handfuls of water onto her face. Panting, she lifts herself up to stare at her garish reflection in the mirror.
Out in the living room, The Sole backs away from the bathroom door as Piper, Raige, and the Dolt orb in. The Sole crosses in front of each of them, silently daring them to make the first move. Raige, seething, spits, "You evil son of a bitch!" Piper flings out her hands, and The Sole dissolves into a whirling, buzzing cloud of Sole bits. Before he can reconstitute himself, Raige kneels to place The Mystical Crysticals in their proper places on the floor. Piper screams, "Phoebe! Get out here and help us, dammit!" Um, how'd she know Phoebe was in the can? Never mind. The Sole bits coalesce, and he backhands Raige across the room into the wall above the mantelpiece. She drops unconscious to the carpet as the remaining Mystical Crystical rolls across the floor from her limp hand. "Don't make me kill you," breathes The Sole. Piper blows him up again as the Dolt applies the tingly touch to Raige's neck. The Sole bits whiz around in the air while Piper screams once more for Phoebe. Huddled behind the door, Phoebe whimpers, "Forgive me," before emerging from the bathroom. The Sole coalesces once more as Piper and the Dolt help Raige to her feet. The Sole conjures an FBOD into his hand. Phoebe retrieves the final Mystical Crystical from the floor and crosses with it to her husband's side. He attempts to apologize with, "I'm sorry -- it's for the best." "I know it is," Phoebe replies, and shoves her tongue into his mouth. The Dolt is a-feared. Shut up, Dolt. Phoebe draws away from The Sole, whispers, "I'm sorry, too," and places the final Mystical Crystical in position on the terrazzo at his feet.