Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Long Live The (Drag) Queen
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2002
As they emerge from the kitchen into the hallway, The Phoebeast slumps towards them from the front door. "[The Sole] is going to kill Greg Conroy," she announces, "and I can't let that happen." Piper quietly asks what Phoebe proposes they do. Phoebe mumbles that she supposes they'll have to vanquish The Sole. "I knew it!" Raige enthuses, then quickly regains control of herself before her inappropriate outbursts get her into trouble with her flamethrowing sister. Which is why you will never hear a single complaint about my brother-in-law from me. Nope. Never. God knows what military ordnance those Pentecostal survivalist freaks keep in that double-wide of theirs down in Tennessee. At Piper's prompting, Phoebe suggests that the Dolt orb back to the Manor with Greg to lure The Sole into the house. Once The Sole arrives, the Dolt and Greg should orb back out, and the gals will then be free to kill her husband. Raige darts up to the attic to retrieve The Mystical Crystals. Once she and Phoebe are alone, Piper begins to offer her regrets. Phoebe puts a stop to it. "I can't get emotional about this now, Piper," she mutters listlessly. "If I do, I won't be able to go through with it." Piper averts her eyes and bites her lip. Raige and that damn satin cravat of hers jiggle down the stairs with The Mystical Crysticals in their decorative box. Piper calls for the Dolt, who orbs into the front hallway with Greg. Greg shoots a nervous glance over at the Feebs, who bleakly nods her head in his direction before turning back to her sisters. "How long 'til you think [The Sole] gets here?" Raige asks.
Phoebe morphs up into The Sole and smirks, "Sooner than you think." He flings an FBOD at Greg, who dissolves instantly in a haze of flame and smoke and teeny tiny bits of probation officer. The Sole, with a wicked gleam in his eye, blazes out of the Manor. Raige and Piper gasp in horror before we cut away to commercial.
Okay: That there? Kicked ass. Granted, my expectations may have been beaten down into the dirt with all the crap that came flying out of my television from this show over the last season, but damn. That was almost as good as the haiku.
Anyway, back from the break, The Sole blazes into the penthouse to find the one true Phoebeast scratching away on a piece of stationery. I probably should make it clear that The Phoebeast is using a pen, and not just clawing away at the paper with her paw, right? A glass of D'Eartha's purely evil urine rests on the table nearby. The Feeble One turns halfway in her chair and asks The Sole if he knew what D'Eartha was giving her to drink. He evades the question by peering over her shoulder to inspect the paper beneath her hand. It's a "Dear Sole" letter, and he wonders aloud if she's planning on running away. She reluctantly admits that she's penned two letters, one to him, the other to her sisters. She hasn't quite decided which one to send. She repeats her question about the tonic. The Sole did indeed know of D'Eartha's foul plan to fill his wife with purely evil urine. Phoebe's -- dare I say it? -- pissed. The Sole wanders away from her towards the fireplace, blathering on and on about the coronation and choosing sides and knowing what you're getting into before you get into it and wah, but good God does he look good doing it. His black jacket is padded out a bit at the shoulders to accentuate their breadth, then tapers in as it moves down towards his waist, where its line joins perfectly with the line of his black pants. The resulting effect turns him into this hulking, brooding presence that seems to rise up from nothing into the air. If you watch Samurai Jack, he's like a three-dimensional human Aku hovering in the middle of the living room. Or maybe I'm just still buzzing on the high from the end of the last scene.