Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Weak Adults & Corrupt Children
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 01.30.2012
Caleb: "Thank you for letting me be the first person you told this to. Who is the threat?"
Hanna: "No idea. But it's whoever's phone you're hacking slowly, so that means everything you do is going to screw me, my mom, you, the girls, Toby, everybody."
Caleb: "I'd better keep a low profile, then..."
Hanna: "Yes, thank you."
Caleb: "...Or else the opposite of that."
FAKE DATE
Aria is the worst.
JENNA'S HOUSE
Speaking of the Filth, guess who surprises Caleb angrily knocking on Jenna's front door but the one person who exists only outside Jenna's house, Officer Garrett. All grinning menace is gone, and now he's just openly hostile. Caleb tells him he was just there to tell Jenna to fuck off being creepy to Hanna, and Garrett -- tipping his hand a bit? -- assures him that Jenna has no need of his cyberwolf spy skills. Not anymore. Caleb spits on the ground and rides off into the night, and Garrett fades out into the darkness to haunt her yard some more, in his little cop costume.
Where is Jenna? What is she up to? Is she really going out with him? Very important information like this -- and constantly denying us it -- is the lifeblood of this program.
MARIN
Spencer arrives to beg for Hanna's forgiveness, and after a while Hanna remembers that she was mad, and then forgives her for whatever it was she was mad about, and it's so sweet.
FAKE DATE
Holden has a really gruesome bruise all along his side, like somebody took a baseball bat to him. As though he knows this is the prime way to ensure Aria gets well up in his business, Holden goes full-on "My Name Is Luka," like, immediately.
As if this is that kind of show. You know what's more likely than his parents hitting him? Literally anything. He and Mikey Montgomery are in a Fight Club together. His dates with Aria have been actually about #OccupyPhilly, and he got into it with the Filth. He is a Real Life Super Hero, who patrols the city streets, looking to fulfill a longing inside for order and peace that his home life cannot bring.
Oh my God if Holden was a Real Life Superhero.
VIVIAN DARKBLOOM
Spencer: "To review, I thought having A's cell phone -- pertinent numbers, dates, and endless video footage of A committing crimes -- that it would somehow help us solve all these mysteries. And yet this is turning out to not be the case. Which is weird, because usually at this point in the episode somebody has a flashback that produces some random bullshit piece of..."
Hanna: "-- Okay, I didn't want to tell you this before, but I have a flashback to do."