Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Weak Adults & Corrupt Children
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 01.30.2012
Spencer: "Having trouble?"
Kate, with her locker: "It'll come to me..."
Spencer: "You know, it's funny. I can remember every single locker combination I've ever had, going all the way back to middle school."
Kate, cutely: "Impressive! But ultimately useless."
Spencer uncoils herself from the bench and strides into Kate's immediate facial area, looming taller and taller until she's brushing the ceiling, eyes glittering like poisonous diamonds, teeth becoming razor-sharp.
Spencer: "Sheckomocko Horse Ranch. Summer of 2006. My sister Melissa was a junior counselor that year. You were in her bunk."
And just as you're thinking "Holy balls, somebody died at summer camp," Kate goes all flinty and WASPy and is like, "Yeah, that's me. I am the girl to whom you allude. I am willing to bribe you to shut you up." And I mean, it's probably going to be something lame like she was fat or had acne or a Liz Lemon backbrace connected to her leg braces, but whatever it is, they both act the shit out of the scene.
Spencer: "I'm not gonna tell anyone. But just so you know, Melissa sent me a bunk photo that year. So if you being nice to Hanna is just an act, you'd better keep it up."
Kate: "Why are you giving me a break?"
Spencer: "Because judging from the way that you treated Hanna, everybody's gonna see how ugly you are without any help from me."
Which would be class, except again, Kate wasn't the original asshole in this scenario. Hanna was exhausted after a long day of dealing with Mona's screamin-meemie craziness in the woods, and cut loose in a private rant that pretty much cut to the heart of Kate's insecurities. Like a hilarious mixup that kept spawning and re-spawning more and more horrible things. But Spencer doesn't know that, Kate doesn't even know it, because that's how these kind of things work. On the other hand, though, Kate was acting out of retaliation, whereas Hanna was acting on the orders of ghosts and talking dolls, so.
GRILLE
Noel Kahn: "No problem helping you with your phone apps, pretty stranger. Call me sometime, I'm very friendly!"
Maya: "Why, what a perfectly pleasant young man."
Emily: "Why were you talking to that asshole?"
Maya: "...What?"
Pam: "Maya. It's. So. Good. To. See. You. You. Look. Lovely."
Maya: "Nice work getting a table for us at the only restaurant in this town..."
Emily: "-- Don't call her Pam! It's Mrs. Fields, you have to call her..."
Maya, in awkward dubstep slow-mo: "...Paaaaaaeeeerrrrrmmmmmm."