Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 273 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT "Almost thirty hours" is more like it
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2002.05.12
Writer Numero Uno: Dude. Let's put Syd in a scuba suit.
Writer Numero Dos: Dude! That is a KILLER idea. But, like, how the hell do we do that? And pass the one-hitter, dude.
Writer Numero Uno: Don't spit all over it this time, man. Okay. How do we get her into the scuba suit…um…got it! We'll just put that stupid blank page at some remote site that's surrounded by water or something.
Writer Numero Dos: Dude, that is totally stupid. Where are the Cheetos?
Writer Numero Uno: Right. That's stupid. And the Alice in Wonderland Halloween costume was pure brilliance? Dude. You trotted out your Disney fetish for all to see and my scuba-suit plot contrivance is STUPID? Whatever, man.
Writer Numero Dos: Okay, fine, whatever. Go with the lame-oid scuba suit idea. Why you're not interested in doing a Matrix-inspired sex sequence is beyond me.
Writer Numero Uno: Dude? Drop the Trinity chalupa, okay? Enough.
Writer Numero Dos: Fine. You're gonna have to float this one past the big cheese, though. I'm not doing it.
Writer Numero Uno: No problem. Gimme the phone.
Writer Numero Dos: Dude. It's in the file cabinet under the Cool Ranch Doritos where it always is.
Writer Numero Uno: [Finds phone. Dials.]Yeah, J.J.? It's me. Whassup, dude? How's it hangin'?
J.J. Abrams: Dude. Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be writing the final episode? I'm not paying you guys to sit around and get stoned and eat snack food, you know. That's what I pay MYSELF to do.
Writer Numero Uno: No, man. We're working on it. That's what we're calling about. Uh, is it cool if we make Syd put on a scuba suit and go after the other blank page at some remote location that's surrounded by water?
J.J. Abrams: Uh, I'm not so sure about that, dude. It doesn't really make sense for the page to be anywhere but at SD-6. Like, that's sort of --
Writer Numero Uno: Dude. SCUBA SUIT.
J.J. Abrams: Right. Good point. Go for it. And don't call me again until you're done, okay? Or at least until you're good and stoned and you can tell me that grandma stripper story again.
Writer Numero Uno: Right on, dude. Later!