Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 273 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT "Almost thirty hours" is more like it
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2002.05.12
"Hey," Agent Weasel says, slime oozing from every pore. "My investigation's on a schedule. You have an appointment with me. You're late." "Yeah, I didn't think you'd mind," says Agent Sean. "Hey, guess what? I do," says Agent Weasel. Okay. That's kind of a shout-out. I mean, in my own drug-addled brain. Like, I always go, "Hey, guess what? Not so much" or "Hey, guess what? That tie ain't working with those shoes." Yeah. J.J. Abrams TOTALLY has a camera in my apartment. Sneaky bugger. Anyway, Agent Sean follows after the Weasel, leaving Agent Amorous to contemplate his over-concern for Spy Barbie.
Beach House For Non-Dying SD-6 Wives Who Are Soon Going To Kick The Proverbial Bucket. Uncle Arvin walks Auntie Em out onto the porch of this remarkably gorgeous beach house. She's all, honey! Did you rent this place for me to recover in? He's all, why don't you take a seat, sweetie? As the sea breeze ruffles Auntie Em's headscarf, Uncle Arvin embarks on his explanation of what exactly it is that he does. "SD-6 is not part of the CIA," he says. He continues to talk, but all we hear is Natalie Merchant singing about how she's been treated so wrong as the truth from Uncle Arvin's mouth pours over Auntie Em. There is no dialogue in this scene. There is only music and the expressions playing across Amy Irving's face. It is, in a word, perfection.
Uncle Arvin tries to sit closer to Auntie Em, trying to explain the truth behind the past FOREVER of his life, and all we can do is watch and listen as Natalie Merchant and Ron Rifkin and Amy Irving make us cry like babies. Amy Irving's eyes are pooling with tears, Ron Rifkin is doing his best to make her see what he really cares about, and Natalie Merchant is plucking our heartstrings with her distinctive voice. Amy Irving starts to cry violently, Ron Rifkin starts to cry sadly, we start to cry profusely, and Ron Rifkin finally leaves the porch, allowing Amy Irving to collect her tears and look out at the sea.
I don't say this often, but I'm saying it now. This was, quite frankly, one of the finest scenes I've ever had the chance to see on television. Hands down. No contest. Winner.
Okay, so before I head off to the living room to test my skills on Tokyo Megaplex, I'll let you know about Syd and Spy Daddy meeting in a random van somewhere and how Syd is wearing a pressure-sensitive suit that can ably retrieve Sloane's fingerprint so that Spy Daddy can make latex duplicates. Got that? Spy Daddy also hands her a wristwatch gadget that has a wireless relay. By wearing this wristwatch gadget, Syd will log Spy Daddy into Sloane's computer. Spy Daddy will acquire the passwords, and Syd will guide the Sloane conversation. No, I don't know what the hell is going on either. My excuse is that I'm on approximately eighteen over-the-counter drugs at the moment. What's yours?