Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: D | 329 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Elegy for Our Lady of Perpetual Victimhood
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.30.2014
Caroline: Yeah, 'cause I fucked Klaus.
Katherine-As-Elena: Oh wow. Dude. Wait, let's repeat all the important stuff, so Tyler glares.
Tyler: *Glares*
Katherine-as-Elena: *Escapes*
Tyler: *Glowers*
Sponsors: We're so much easier.
Recapper: So Katherine finds Mia, Nadia, and Elena's corpse in ye olde tomb cave. There are arguments. Who cares? Let's get it over with it. Mia needs Kiki's blood to seal Katherine's spirit to Elena's body. Katherine gives it up. Poor Elena gets cut up. Even Katherine objects, but only a little. Elena wakes up during the spell, stuns Mia, and (non-fatally) stakes Nadia, then flees.
Out in the woods, Elena feels herself being pulled back to the tomb, but tries to fight it. We cut to the party.
Tyler: Caroline there is no excuse for sleeping with Satan Klaus. Now I'm going to wolf out on you!
Stefan: I'll pay the rent!
Recapper: Sorry. Old kids' game. Stefan rushes to the rescue.
Tyler: Dude?
Stefan: Dude!
Tyler: She screwed Klaus.
Stefan: Nobody puts Baby in a corner. *Punch*
Meanwhile, back at the tomb...
Readers: Cindy, didn't you already cover the scene where Elena disables these two, then runs out?
Recapper: Oops. Yes. My head is stuffy. I forgot I telescoped it. Please forgive me.
Sponsors: Please buy our stuff.
Meanwhile, back at the Lockwood Mansion...
Damon: I have to be invited in. Hello? Fine, I'll just mosey around back.
Nadia: Back at the cave, Mia and I revive. I just want her to finish the spell.
Elena-As-Katherine-As-Elena: Out in the woods, I start feeling weird. Okay, weirder. Don't drag me back, bitches!
Mia: *INCANTS*
Elena: Now I'm remembering Katherine's tragic past.
Katherine: SCORE!
Mia: So I'm totally lighting Katherine's corpse afire.
Audience: Um. Couldn't you make like a Cassadine, and freeze it?
Recapper: As Elena flees, Katherine burns. Eventually, Elena finds Damon. She charges toward him. They hug.
Audience: Elena, why aren't the first words out of your mouth: They're putting Katherine's spirit in my body.
Elena: Damon?
Damon: Girl?
Elena: Big hug?
Damon: Yeah.
Elena: Damon, thank God I'm not wasting our precious time telling you what's really going on.