Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Act Your Age, Not Your...On Second Thought, Don't Act Your Age
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.15.2007
Ryan manages to segue from Apollo's failed "knockout" to the next auditioneer, who's "a real fighter." Meet Denise Jackson, a sixteen-year-old student from Madison, who tells us that she was "born as a...crack baby, as they would call them." Here's what you have to know about Denise: she is dressed ridiculously. Skimpy mini-dress, flowy lace robe thingy, trashy boots, sunglasses, hair in a ratty ponytail. She's dressed for the Flavor of Love reunion special. Here's what you also have to know about Denise: she rocks. She says she was put in foster care, "rescued" by her grandmother, and is incredibly grateful for what she has. "Knowing that I was born that way, I thank God," she says. "Many people have disabilities because of [being a crack baby], but there's nothing wrong with me. I was actually born with a gift, you know? A wonderful gift. I can sing." She says this perfectly humbly and graciously. Now, I'm not saying that I wasn't sitting in a living room full of people who all shouted, in unison, "Crack baby! She's in!" Because we are cynical and awful, just like this show. That doesn't mean I don't recognize the awesome person she is or that I am not rooting for her completely.
Outside the audition room with Ryan, Denise jokes about taking off her shades and batting her beautiful eyes at the judges. She's fronting here, but I think she knows it. There's a moment, as she struts out in front of the judges, that you worry she'll take the front too far and turn herself into a joke, but then she giggles and calls it her "Beyoncé walk," and all is forgiven. The judges aren't quite sure about her -- and with the package she's presenting, with the clothes and the walk, how could you be? -- but she sings Jennifer Holliday's "And I Am Telling You" very well. It's hard to fall all over yourself about it, particularly in the year of Jennifer Hudson and the Dreamgirls movie, but it shows she has a strong voice. I'm not really feeling "Top 12" from her, but who knows what Hollywood can bring? Simon thinks she's great and likes her "attitude." So do I. She's "sailed on through to Hollywood," per Simon. Outside, Denise emerges with her golden ticket and her family/friends celebrate, including one dude -- who maybe was born with disabilities from being a crack baby -- who jumps into another, very much larger dude's arms. It's a banner day for crack babies on this show -- for once -- as we head into commercials.
When we return, Denise is still celebrating, talking adorably about how she'll be the first person in her family to make something of themselves. "...Halfway," she amends, in a shockingly rare bit of humility. She thanks Jesus, as well as the half-full room of auditioneers who applaud her. Ryan's voice-over, however, reminds us that "not everyone had cause to celebrate." Cut to a rather nonsensical "appeal" from the producers of American Idol, asking for your attention to a growing ailment among auditioneers. The condition is apparently called "forgetting the words to your audition song." This is all a way of leading up to the entrance of one Tashawn Moore. Check out Tashawn: she's got a round, smiley face, her hair is pulled back in very business-like braids, and she's wearing a button-down shirt with an electric lime tie that she keeps flopping over her shoulder so the judges can read her contestant number. So cute. Try not to think abut how she's twenty-seven and probably too old to be acting weird on TV, and she's even cuter. She presents herself like she's at a job fair, and cheerfully says of her outfit that the audition manifesto "says 'dress to impress,' and I think a tie would do just my justice." Oh my God, I love her. She'll be singing Prince's "Kiss" for her audition, or so she says. She starts off by getting stuck on the "women not girls rule my world" line for-EVER, closing her eyes, trying to remember how it actually goes. She'll kind of catch on for a second, then forget again, then close her eyes, then do a little shimmy-shake. When she does actually sing, it's in this low, rumbling tone. She remembers "Act your age and not your shoe size," and then she opts to "do the twirl" and struts in a circle with her arms out to the side like she's five and pretending to be an airplane. The judges, bless them, let her keep going, and she does, with lots of snapping and keeping the eyes closed. She gets a full head of steam into the chorus -- stopping and starting over when she forgets something -- until she's brings it down to the ground for a drum-roll and a "...Kiss." To the judges! Randy says no (Tashawn whispers, "Yes."), Jewel says no (Tashawn whispers, "Yes."), Paula says no (Tashawn whispers, "Yes."). Finally, Simon asks what that's all about, with the yeses. "I just like to hear it," she says. Love her! "I do apologize," she says, though the judges say there's no need. She trots out and runs full speed into the..."Other door."