Episode Report Card Joe R: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Act Your Age, Not Your...On Second Thought, Don't Act Your Age
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.15.2007
Ryan next introduces us to Matt Sato, 16, whom Ryan describes as "thoughtful." Every time I see Matt on screen, I say, "Ohhh!" like when you see a kitten, or George O'Malley. He's teeny short, dressed in a sharp little black button-down, unflinchingly polite, soft-spoken, and his angelic little face is only marred by what appear to be waxed eyebrows (leave 'em alone, kid) and an unfortunate and hugely prominent blemish on the tip of his nose. But he's straight-up adorable and I love him. And no, I'm not going to speculate on the obvious, because...why speculate, really? He's in show choir. He knows who he is. Anyway, Matt's mom and stepdad aren't here because they've stopped officially supporting his music career because it's been costing them too much money. And knowing absolutely nothing about their financial situation or just how much money has been spent on Matt's quest to capitalize on his talent, I feel entirely justified in calling them jerks. Jerks! How do you say no to that face, blemish or no blemish? Inside with the judges, he sings "California Dreamin'" and sounds just lovely. I'm intensely fearing that Simon will say something mean to him, because you know how much Simon hates the girly boys, but he's either had a change of heart between seasons or he sees something marketable in Matt (bet on the latter...heavily), because he says Matt's "got something." Yeah, a skin condition (shut up, you!). He also says Matt's got a mature voice, for his age. Jewel says she was pleasantly surprised, and Randy advises him to "let it go" more next time. Matt smiles big and allows that he's "a little nervous." The judges all say yes, and Matt manages to make it out of the audition room, into the hallway, and halfway through his phone call to his mother before he breaks down crying. He covers his face with his golden ticket as he does so, which killed me dead, partly because that is precisely the kind of thing I'd do. I don't want none of you looking at my ugly crying face -- who am I, Claire Danes? "She's proud of me," he husks, before balling up into a yoga position known as Crouching Drama Dork, and y'all can shut up at any time because he is fantastic and my favorite.
After the commercials, we're meet a fatigues-clad young woman named Rachel Jenkins, 21, from Minnetonka, MN. Before she gets to why she's dressed up for battle, Rachel first explains to us that she works in her parents' auto body shop. We see footage of Rachel at the auto shop, doing automotive things of some kind or another that I'm not at all qualified to explain to you. She's wielding a...buffer? She's on one of those roller-carts that let you slide underneath the car -- the kind that really should have gotten Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock killed in Speed. She uses a socket wrench. That's about the extent of my expertise on the subject. Rachel, after ten whole seconds of seeing her on the air, seems really cool and grounded. She says she signed up with the Army Reserve after 9/11 because she wanted to do something for her country and that was the best way she knew how. I think about this impulse servicemen and -women have to do right by their country, and it kind of boils me up even further to think that the people in charge don't share it. Anyway. Her husband, Daniel, is currently stationed in Baghdad, Eye-rack, and photographic evidence tells us they make an awfully cute couple. She worries about him very much, but she "know[s] he's a good sergeant" and she has to believe he'll be okay. When you sit down to type it all out like this, it sounds depressing as hell, but Rachel's not a depressing person to be around, I don't imagine, so seeing her on TV makes it a whole different experience.