Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.22.2004
Anyway, Vaughn goes on to say that Moronen will pay for the damage she's done to the people Vaughn loves (namely, Syd), but not because she had an affair with Sark. "I don't give a rat's ass who she's sleeping with," he snits. I don't think there was a whole lot of "sleeping" going on there, Vaughny Boy, but I do think "rat's ass" is one of the finest phrases known to man, so I'll cut you some slack in this particular instance. Vaughn asks again, some more, where Moronen is. Sark just groans in response. And not in the good way.
Out in Oops Center, Syd's walking in and surveying the damage. It greatly resembles the scene in which Syd surveyed the damage done to SD-6. Yeah. This episode is just chock full of parallels. Weiss sees Syd and walks over to her. She asks after Marshall, and Weiss just says he's in the O.R. And…that's pretty much the last we hear of Marshall. I mean it. Guy got shot, has a new baby and a wife, and…later! Weiss is more concerned with telling Syd about all the other agents who were wounded and/or hospitalized. All in all, the number's around thirty or so, and no one died. So, like, what's with the long faces? There's only one person who seems to be in dire straits and that's that bald guy named Brandon who I barely feckin' remember so, yeah, whatever. But apparently Weiss and Brandon had a thing or something, because he's all burnt up about this bombing thing.
Syd seems remarkably unconcerned with the emotions that are in the process of burbling up and over Weiss's unbuttoned shirt collar, and she just asks where Vaughn is. Weiss is all, who, that guy? Sheeee-it. I dunno. haven't seen him since he finished interrogating Sark. This little announcement sets off all sorts of alarms in Syd's head. Especially after Weiss says that Vaughn worked Sark over pretty good but still got no information out of him. Syd quickly retreats to the Corner of Phone Calls To Vengeful Non-Boyfriends and whips out her cell phone. She calls Vaughn and asks him if he'd like some company. Well, seeing as Vaughn is in the process of tailing his wife and looking all sorts of hot in his regulation black leather Vengeful Husband gear while standing in the middle of a suddenly sexy southern Californian downpour, I'm thinking he's gonna go this one alone.
I'm right; Vaughn tries everything in his power to put Syd off his trail. He does this mostly by cryptically answering Syd's direct questions with vague and leading answers that only pique her interest. She wants to know where he is and he's all, "Doesn't matter." Nice, dude. You couldn't say, like, "McDonald's, drowning my sorrows in a Big Mac with extra special sauce"? These two are perfect for each other. They're both the Worst. Spies. Ever. Syd's not into Vaughn's lame answers, and she quickly surmises that something's rotten in the state of Denmark and its name is Moronen. She asks Vaughn what's going on, and when he doesn't answer, she gets this heartbroken look on her face that really says it all. "Sark talked, didn't he?" she asks. "And you know where [Moronen] is." "I'm taking care of it," is all Vaughn will say. "I don't know what you're thinking, but you cannot do this, Michael," says Syd, pulling out the Christian name ploy. It's very similar to the one your mother used when she asked you to clean your room for the fourteenth time and finally called up the stairs, "Frances Mary Katherine Healy Gallagher! You clean your room this minute or you can FORGET about spending the night at Molly McFeely's house this Saturday!" And you'd scramble to do it, because nothing's scarier than an Irish mother on a rampage armed with a full battery of Christian names. And yes, before you can even ask it, we had soda bread and beef in Guinness every St. Patrick's Day from the time I was four years old. And I wonder why I drink.