Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT My Brain On Thief
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.17.2013
Eli: "Jordan! You made some plan that I told you not to make!"
Jordan: "Yeah, I'm not listening to you anymore. This is my brain on Thief."
Eli: "Everywhere you go these days, juniors are stomping all over you."
Jordan: "You're in the middle of some obnoxious criminal investigation, which gets us all dirty, and then you're super distracted on top of it. I made a command-level decision, and it won't be the last one. Rock and roll, Eli. Deal with it."
Eli: "Then I will call Peter and tattle! Nora, call Peter!"
Jordan, sweetly: "You're already irrelevant. He's going to take your calls less and less frequently, less and less urgently. You are becoming a liability. It's not in his nature to tell you that, but you can hear the bells already."
Nora: "Peter's in a meeting, Eli. Very much more important than you."
Jordan: "They're tolling for thee, my dear."
Eli, after about five seconds of soul-searching, calls Elsbeth about the DOJ wire sting on Peter. Even sick as hell with a mind made of mush I still managed to think out the two possibilities here -- prove his loyalty to Peter vs. save his own ass -- but I was still surprised by which one Eli ends up going for. How can Eli be so right in his soul as to instinctively adore Elsbeth Tascioni, and not understand that Jordan Karahalios is a dirty-faced little angel he's lucky to even know? Why don't any of these people love Jordan Karahalios? Not even Alicia? Look at him, he's marvelous. Listen to his voice. Fools, all of you!
SR PARTNERS
David Lee: "So Cary's taking ChumHum to lunch. Alicia's out with Sweeney's guy, the Others are with Bishop's guys..."
Partners: "It's a mutiny!"
Will: "It's a sham mutiny. A schmootiny. They're trying to freak us out. That's why they're pissing all over our mock trial, too, I bet."
Diane: "...Okay that one's going a little far. I mean, wouldn't you be pissed? In retrospect we kind of set up the perfect situation for them to act out."
David Lee: "We do not negotiate with terrorists."
Will: "Then split 'em up. Pick one and they'll fall apart."
David Lee: "Oh, and lemme guess which one. You two are the worst."
MOCK TRIAL
CEO Guy: "Listen, I feel bad about this dead girl. I would bring her back to life, if I could just invent a power beverage with enough energy-enhancing properties to do so."