Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT My Brain On Thief
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.17.2013
MOCK TRIAL
Cary: "Hey, has your company ever settled for other murder-by-drinks? Like this one thing Dogfight that Kalinda showed me about?"
Diane: "Not saying it did, Your Honor, but if that did happen, that would be subject to a gag order."
(Will & Alicia: "It is so weird to be here right now, fighting about this in the daytime.")
Lyman: "Guess what, I'm siding with Diane on this one."
Cary: "As usual."
Lyman: "Go cry to your sick cabal of fourth-year mutineers, fuckwit."
Cary: "I thought we were in this together, Florrick. Why aren't you being an angry young man with me today?"
Alicia: "I am freaked out. I mean nothing. I mean, not what you think -- or will think when you find out what I agreed to -- because I can't tell you really why, which has nothing to do with that, so nothing."
You know, it's funny: I can't think of a character less likely, at this point in his evolution, to go to the "You must be hooking up with Will again to get partnership over me" place. I wouldn't be dumbfounded if that happened, but it's nice to think about how it would, in itself, be something of an unexpected twist. Do you know what I mean?
SIETCH TABR/"GOLD & ASSOC"
Muad'Dib: "Want a biscotti?"
Elsbeth: "I don't like them anymore. They taste like jerk."
Eli: "Testing, testing. Heading into work."
Muad'Dib: "Were you ever married? I want to learn all about you. Were you happily married?"
Elsbeth: "I'm always happy."
Muad'Dib: Dreamy smile.
Somehow they are now flirting and it's great; Eli continues to walk dorkily through the building, stiffly practicing nonchalance into his lapel.
Eli: "Hello, person? Can I discuss certain matters with you?"
Person: "Why yes, I am on my lunch break. Practicing the accordion polkas."
Sietch Tabr: Flips out; Elsbeth is loving it. Everybody scrambles.
Eli: "Hey, remember those dirty calls you said I made? Did you know that was a lie and your boss is a liar and should go to jail? And could you project your voice and speak very clearly into my abdomen?"
Muad'Dib, verbatim: "Elsbeth, I am very disappointed in you."
LaGuardia: "I mean yeah, technically we made up a third call and lied on all the paperwork and lied to the judge and our whole case is built on that, so what? I do vile shit all the time, Eli. Hang on, I have to answer this phone call."