Episode Report Card Demian: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome To Fantathy Thithtern!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.25.2003
Thimon reads the first line of Big Gay Chris's list. "A normal life with normal friends, and no magic." Thimon grins and, stretching his good arm above the cistern, intones, "Ask, and ye shall receive." The surface of the water shimmers to display Piper toting Tiny Gay Chris through the center parlor to his playpen. The camera, which had leapt above Thimon's head for this effects shot, spirals down towards the cistern until the Manor scene flares out to fill the screen. As Tiny Chris blows snot all over Piper's blouse, a glimmering, golden wave of demonic mojo shimmies across the frame from left to right, knocking Piper and Tiny Chris unawares into an alternate dimension partly of Piper's own making. Piper glances around suspiciously and Tiny Chris fidgets once the wave has passed, as if they both realize something strange just happened. The doorbell rings, though, so Piper places Tiny Chris in his pen to answer it.
Piper opens the door to find fashion fiend Mary standing on the front porch, along with some blonde thing who's stuffed into a too-tight sleeveless pink turtleneck. Once they've crossed the threshold, a gaggle of nearly a dozen other nittering twits follows them into the hall. Mary's gone ahead and invited these others, you see, because she knew Piper's a fucking doormat who wouldn't have the balls to call her on it. Which is pretty amusing in its own way. I mean, if Piper really wanted normal friends, this is precisely how so many of them would behave, after all. And wouldn't you know, Mary was spot-on regarding Piper's doormat status. The Manor drudge just waves all of the uninvited guests towards the parlor before assuring Mary that she's been looking forward to the private show all week. Mary giggles that Piper'll love her new line of lingerie. Piper cautiously replies that as long as she herself doesn't have to model any of it, she's certain everything will be lovely. Mary cocks a brow to reveal she doesn't design women's underthings just as three GAY MALE STRIPPERS lope in through the front door. Mary passes a bag to The GAY MALE STRIPPER With The Speaking Part, who asks, "Where do we change?" Piper goggles and sputters that her bedroom's free. Bamp-chicka-bamp-ew. The merry GAY MALE STRIPPERS head upstairs as Piper collapses against the front door with the vapors, or something. And save the emails. I don't want to hear how you've been best friends with Alex Estornel since grade school, so you know he's not a GAY MALE STRIPPER. He is now. Deal.