Episode Report Card Demian: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome To Fantathy Thithtern!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.25.2003
Back at the Manor, Piper loses her grip on the banister and whomps heavily onto her ass, upon which she proceeds to slide towards The Vast Suck near the dining room. She squeals and unleashes another pair of Hands. This time, she manages to take a bite out of Simon's shoulder. The Vast Suck promptly closes, and Simon dematerializes by morphing from his head down into a wispy outline of himself, which then dissipates in the air. Piper wearily eyes the empty space where he'd been, then collapses into the opening credits.
Tonight's Travelogue Testicle moans about finding his way home tomorrow. Maybe. He's very uncertain about it all. I'd express concern for his lack of direction, but I'd first have to give a rat's ass about the Travelogue Testicle, and that's just not going to happen. We presently land at the Manor, where Raige, Phoebe, and Piper tidy up the sun porch while Big Gay Chris abuses the Book of Shadows in a fruitless attempt to find Simon's entry. Tiny Gay Chris, meanwhile, mewls in his product-placed playpen, of absolutely no use to anyone at all. Big Chris is furious that Piper nearly died alone in the Manor because her sisters were too busy interviewing The Orgasm Lady and performing as an elderly magician's prop. The Glamorous Ladies, naturally, blow him off to bitch about their respective lives. Piper needs the sun porch cleared because her friend, Mary, "has designed a fashion line," and intends to display the fruits of her loom at the Manor for some stupid reason or other. Raige pauses from collecting crumpled roses from the floor to breathe, "I love clothes." Heh. Also, you're obviously in need of some new ones if all you can find to wear out in public is that lacy peach teddy you're calling a blouse. Cover your stuff up before you kill one of those old guys at the home, woman. What is wrong with you? Anyway, Piper moans and gripes and complains about having "a normal life if it kills [her]," which is followed by a bit of business regarding her bandaged hand. Piper cut herself in the kitchen and refuses to have the Dolt heal it, because she's vowed to tolerate mundane injuries the way anyone else on the planet would. Raige mopes that she'd use magic for everything, if that were possible. Phoebe jumps in to note that the dozens of roses Raige is clearing away came from Chronic, who's worried that he's "losing" the Feebs. If the roses are yours, why aren't you the one on her knees cleaning them up, bitch? No answer. Naturally. Because of her stoopid new power, Phoebe's no longer sure which emotions in the relationship are hers, so she "has [her] guard up." Raige, who has no subplot this week, and therefore nothing to whine about in this scene, finally gives up on cleaning by hand and recites her trusty Object Of Objection spell. Twinkly white lights dance around the room to clear away the mess and restore various hanging plants that had been knocked to the ground. Once everything's back in its proper place, Raige heads towards the door to return to the nursing home. As she goes, she makes a very unfunny crack about how little time the geriatrics in her care have left in this world. Cram it, you callous bimbo. Phoebe mumbles her own goodbyes and rises to escort Raige, as she herself has a lunch date with Chronic.