Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Boned By The Lohan
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2008
Back home, Betty justifies her bitchy behavior and Hilda screeches about God knows what. Finally Betty asks why she is crazy now, and Hilda says she has chosen Anger over Depression. Ignacio says it's been a treat, and then asks Betty what if she chose Not An Asshole over Asshole. Betty justifies a whole bunch more and Ignacio basically bullies her into being a good person.
Marc and Amanda discuss ways to torture Betty, but fall in love with Kimmie's horrible style instead: "Cute tiny backpack. Do you put all your tiny scrunchies in it?" That's the next most hilarious thing. She does, she keeps her tiny scrunchies in her tiny backpack. She is also wearing like a denim shrug thing with little rufflies on it. She looks like that little girl in grade school that you knew would be pregnant by junior high and then she was, like, that exact shade of denim. Kimmie thanks them for their interest and starts to talk about how she hasn't bought clothes since high school because living in Queens is like Mad Max and it isn't like living at all, etc., and Amanda gives her the flapping lips/zip it gesture: "N. I." Betty feels a tinge of remorse but I, like Amanda, am N. longer F. I. in what Betty's emotions are doing.
Kimmie pratfalls all over an editorial meeting and Betty tells her to get the eff out of there. "Throw a poncho and sideburns on that girl and she could be you!" notes Marc. Marc and Amanda, you should share your writers with the rest of the show. It would thank you. Wili wants the trainwreck fired, she says, just as Kimmie's walking randomly into a glass door and the whole world laughs just like with the Granny Pants, and Betty's essential nicenessnesses jump out at you like, "Boo! It is so hard to be fat and spazzy here at Mode! I will take her under my wing with a side of ranch!" Everybody looks at Betty and pretends to care but they don't even try that hard.
Betty walks Kimmie through the place screaming at the top of her lungs about this random acronym she has created: ARG. NI! A is for "anticipate," which is to know what people need before they do. When Kimmie asks what the eff she's talking about, Betty hilariously tosses her a handout and goes, "...I anticipated you would ask that." Wow, you're good, Kimmie says. This part's kind of good, like, in the on-crack way that this show is good. Betty keeps screaming. R is for "research," which is to know everything that there is to know, like, don't ask Wili for receipts even if Betty tells you to.