Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fashion Roadkill!
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.09.2008
...And there they are! The aspects. So Tony takes a shower for a while, getting all cleaned up and smelling nice for their "talk," but Ignacio randomly comes in to replace Betty's locks vis-à-vis their conversation about how gullible she is, and then loiters around staring at the awesome aspects of wet naked Tony until his slut daughter walks in, at which point Tony's wedding ring jumps into the air and lands at Ignacio's feet. Sometimes this show tries so hard, and then other times it does not try at all. Ignacio stomps his tiny feet and runs away, Hilda continues to be in total denial, and Coach Tony is like, "Hey, I'm fine. I'm risking nothing I wouldn't rather see destroyed, and have no emotional capital in this relationship. Worst thing that happens is that I leave her for you, and you spend the next thirty years wondering when I'm going to do the same thing to you, which I eventually will, but none of that is my problem any more than my marriage is my problem. I move that I should only take showers from now on, all the time." Motion carried.
Betty -- actually giving Christina water, note -- whines that Daniel didn't push Christina, and harangues her about whether there's anything she forgot, or didn't fully explain. I normally like the whole "Betty covers for Daniel" angle, but it seems really out of place in this episode. It's just not something Daniel would do. It's something Wilhelmina, Claire, or Alexis would do, because they are cartoons, but it's not something Daniel would do any more than it's something Christina would do. Good thing Betty's stupid this week, or the episode would be about ten minutes long.
Christina explains that she has been avoiding telling Betty -- and the po-po -- about her fight with Stuart where he -- like everybody else on the show, between this week and last -- abused a mannequin after she threatened to have him deported for using her money on drugs. And then, apparently, didn't follow through. Or is planning on doing so after she leaves the hospital. A little awkward light bulb goes off over Betty's head just as a high heel with socks is aiming for her mouth, all, "OMG! We all assumed it was somebody that hated Wilhelmina that pushed you, because you're merely a walking womb, but: nobody's even talking about all the people that fucking hate you!" I admit it. I pushed Christina McKinney down the stairs.
Christina burrs and ochs and whatever about how she threatened a violent drug addict with deportation and how unbelievable that he would retaliate in such a characteristic fashion. Or something along those lines. I can't really understand when she speaks. It's because of that stupid accent of hers, probably. So Betty's like, you have to tell the police about how you threatened each other and then he pushed you down the stairs and what about the puir bairn or whatever, Nessie or something, Toad in the Hole, and then of course Stuart is in the hallway coming toward her room. In a kilt. With some bagpipes.