Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Suddenly Katya!
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.23.2005
Meanwhile, down in Hell, the demon Phoebe's scrying for is skillfully play-acting the role of friendly, sympathetic, and patient Guide To All Things Magikal for the supposed benefit of the still-rattled Haaate. Michelle Hurd quite masterfully plays this scene -- in which Katya very nearly persuades Haaate to open the Box in order to rid Haaate herself of her unwanted responsibility for it -- to the hilt. As she's played all of her scenes this evening, frankly, in the process almost single-handedly lifting what is essentially a filler episode into the ranks of the best this show's presented this season. To put it another way, Michelle Hurd is rocking this episode up, down, and sideways, and why this woman gets so little work is a mystery to me. In any event, Haaate -- almost instinctively -- rebels at the last possible instant. Katya immediately drops the faked solicitude and brings on the brutality. "Lucius!" she roars, glowering at Haaate. In response, Creepy Ugly Swayze manhandles the terrified Darcy into the room from a chamber beyond, presses a nasty-looking dagger against his captive's throat, and then disappears with her from whence he came. "Don't hurt her!" Haaate pleads. "You know what I want," Katya croons with a slight shrug of her shoulders. The camera drops from Haaate's anxious expression to focus on the Box as the whispery Craptin reappears on the soundtrack.
Cliché-Laden Elevator Cab Of The Damned. Let's get through this quickly, shall we? The fratboy-turned-corporate prick's managed to remove a ceiling panel, only to electrocute his worthless ass on a bit of wiring above the cab. This has the unfortunate effect of tossing the moppet into an asthma attack, but it also shuts the Bickersons right up, so, you know, silver lining and all that. Though I'm not sure if the silver lining is the shutting up of the Bickersons or the agonized deaths Moppet and the Prick we could be witnessing in the next few minutes. Gah. I hate all of these people. Long story short, Raige orders Wimpy Bickerson to assist as she performs CPR on the Prick, while sending the Shrew to the far side of the car to comfort Li'l Orphan Wheezy. Soon enough, the Prick coughs and splutters back to life, Wheezy's breathing has returned to normal, and Wimpy and the Shrew have fallen in love all over again. God, this show sucks. Coincidentally enough, the instant all these things happen, the elevator jerks back into motion. I'd call that contrivance of the highest order, but since the ever-useless Elders were the ones who sent Raige on this stupid quest in the first place, I wouldn't be surprised if they've been controlling the situation all along. Whatever. Like I care. Next!