Episode Report Card Shack: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT First Dubya, now this
By Shack | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.20.2002
Nikki heads out to The Octagon to sing Alanis Morissette's "Mary Jane." She's dressed fairly simply tonight, with a black sleeveless blouse and burgundy pants with what appear to be tan kneepads or something. The cameras don't normally pan in on the performers below the knee, so I can never figure out whatever unusual leg or footwear Nikki has been sporting from show to show.
So this is Nikki's rock ballad for the night, and it's okay. Nikki has volume problems that I think contribute to her flatness. The verses are plaintively crooned, and she does great with them, but when she gets to the power notes, her volume goes up five hundred decibels and she starts going flat. She must have noticed her problems with the held notes, because she tends to stick one of those country-twangs in the middle of each one to kind of split the note in half. I don't know what they're called. It's when the singer goes down a step or so and then comes right back up to the note. Of course, those could have been in the original song, but unlike everybody else on earth, apparently, I don't own a copy of that album. Shut up. Overall, a good performance for Nikki, but not spectacular.
The audience loves the performance and gives her a standing ovation. Randy tells Nikki that he thought that it was a good song choice for her, and that she did well, but it didn't blow him away. The audience starts booing. Interesting. Paula says that she thinks Nikki has really found her "comfort zone" tonight. Well yes. She was allowed to find her "comfort zone." Simon "Nikki, Nikki, Nikki"s (really, he does) that he told the finalists last week that they have to really believe that they can win. He thinks that Nikki took that to heart and pulled out a "fantastic" performance. The crowd goes absolutely wild. But that's not enough. Simon has to insult Randy for not going wild about Nikki's performance and tells him to "wash his ears out." Simon, honey, I've heard some of the "talent" you represent. Wash your ears out. And then shut up. Randy suggests that Simon needs a little "shake-up." From the wings, Brian snarks, "Girls! Girls! You're both pretty!"
Nikki heads up to Black and Decker, who ask Simon to repeat his compliments to Nikki. Blah blah blah votecakes.
Next up is Kelly "Cult Of Personality" Clarkson (Eeeeeee!). In her clip show, Kelly (Eeeeeee!) frets that she's not into the whole YM "your life revolves around make-up and cute boys" scene. Tellingly, Alyssa describes Kelly (Eeeeeee!) as having "girl-next-door tendencies" in the same tone of voice that the rest of us would use to say "child molester." She does praise Kelly's sense of humor and energy. Kelly (Eeeeeee!) tells them that she does have a sexy side, "somewhere deep inside her." Oh, I'm sure YM will be more than happy to help fix the body-image and esteem problems that they've helped create in you in the first place. Here, try this eyeliner.