Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | 417 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Again with the racing
By Miss Alli | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2003.05.29
Back in shallow center (which seems oddly appropriate for some of these teams), Phil explains that there will be thirteen legs, and there will be tasks, and money is limited, and so on. Phil explains that it's important to get to the pit stops quickly, because at nine of them, if you get there last, you'll be -- eyebrow-pop -- eliminated. He asks them if they understand, and everybody nods. Phil explains that their first clue is waiting with their luggage. Once they get their bags and read their clues, they can exit through the center field fence, run to the SUVs that are waiting, take one, and get going. "Everybody ready?" Phil says. They all go, "Wooo!" and clap. Because you have to. If you stop Phil and say, "Wait, how many legs are there again?" you will lose your psychological edge. "The world is waiting for you," Phil says rakishly. "Good luck...travel safe...go!" Screaming, they all fly past Phil in a pack, and he leans back as if being blown by a stiff wind. Man, Phil is so cool. Can you believe Survivor blew him off for freaking Probst? Idiots. Everyone streams across centerfield in a drop-dead sprint until they reach their luggage and open their first clue. I always think it's interesting to note how the opening sprint goes, and you know who kicked its ass, other than the people you might have spotted? Monica. She smoked that sucker. Anyway, the clue tells them to get themselves to Milan, Italy on one of three flights -- a SwissAir flight, a Lufthansa flight, or a KLM flight. Seats are, of course, first come, first served, and they have $200 for the leg.
Bags in hand, the teams tear out of the stadium and into the parking lot, immediately scattering out to reach the row of SUVs. BuffJon laughs hysterically as he navigates around the parking lot. Jaree falls behind as a result of dropping her bag. "BLAT! BLAT BLAT BLAT!" say the horns on the soundtrack. Chip directs Reichen out of the parking lot and onto the highway. "Here we go," he says. Here we go, indeed.
Credits. Theme music. Damn, I missed this show so much I almost have to walk over and put my arms around my TV. Sniff. [BOMP.]
Screamy strings play on the soundtrack in a vaguely Psycho-ish fashion as we return to Dodger Stadium. Somebody almost causes an accident in one of the SUVs by cutting over in front of somebody else, but it's hard to tell who it is. In the Russell/Cindy SUV, she reads the clue, which tells them that they have to find the Galleria Victoria once they get to Milan. "Been there, been there," Russell says. In the Chip/Reichen SUV, meanwhile, Chip points out to Reichen that they've got a lot of people following them who don't know where they're going. To wit: in the Jon/Kelly SUV, she says to follow "the California-looking boys." "I'm telling you, those guys are from California," she says. "They got the look." I must admit, we grow 'em pasty in my part of the country, so she may have a point.