Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Behaving Badly
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2002
Back in his office, Mukada indulges in the vices of nicotine and caffeine. Cloutier's redheaded usurper arrives. Seems he's gotten wind of a bus crash memorial that Mukada's cooking up, and wants know why he wasn't asked to participate, since he's been ministering to many of the Christians since Cloutier's "accident." Accident, my tight little buttcheeks, says Mukada, and reading from a Bible on a stage does not a ministry make. Red demands inclusion and, when Mukada questions his credentials, whips out a laminated card signifying his status as an ordained priest that he got online. See what havoc internet access can wreak in a correctional facility? Bad, bad internet. Mukada tells Red to shove off, but Red says he'll go over Mukada's head, to the warden. He'll ignore you, says Mukada. "Then I'll go over his head, to God," says Red, which is too much for Mukada, who spits that everyone knows Red was involved in the Cloutier incident, and that as soon as the Reverend can testify, it's off to eternal solitary for Red. Red gives Mukada the finger (with a kiss -- cute touch) and retreats.
Red, of course, immediately begins plotting Cloutier's demise; Cloutier's throat is still sore (yeah, that's a good word for it) from the accident, says Red, but once he can testify, they'll all be in trouble. Hoyt argues that he's already screwed, but Red is adamant. But, says Hoyt, if he dies then they finger me. Right, says Red; that's why we need someone who is "beyond reproach." Excuse me, you're in a prison. I don't think that's gonna happen. Oops, my bad -- apparently Jim, who's conveniently in the room, is beyond reproach, but doesn't want to ice Cloutier since it was Cloutier that brought him to Jesus. Red tells him, "If you're not part of the solution, you're Satan's tool." Um, that's not the way I heard it in Business Blather 101. But it seems to work -- management gurus take note! It works until Cloutier comes to Jim in a vision at night and tells him, don't kill me, kill Hoyt and Kerr, or perhaps "Kirk," which must be Red's name. ["It is, in fact, Tim Kirk." -- Sars] Jim nods his agreement as a beatific looks spreads across his face; I think we might have witnessed a nocturnal emission.
In the gym, where bad things seem to happen, Jim tells the guys about his visitation before making a very ill-advised attempt to follow Cloutier's orders; Jim buys the farm instead, as Hoyt snaps his neck with a bar. And, after claiming self-defense, gets sent to the hole by Leo. Red's podmate asks if there will be a memorial for Jim -- sure, says Red, we have to pray for his immortal soul, and he looks ever so sincere while gnawing on a toothbrush.