Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Behaving Badly
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2002
Alvarez is doing sit-ups in the gym; Guerra enters, and Alvarez hops up. "Ready?" he asks. Guerra looks around, the one guard in the room conveniently runs out (literally), and Guerra pulls a knife from his pocket. Alvarez starts shouting for all the inmates in the room to look at him, and a series of quick cuts establishes that he's got all the witnesses he could want; as Guerra approaches, Enrique "Papa Conscience" Morales appears, so Guerra sticks to Alvarez's initial terms and stabs him squarely in the shoulder (eliciting appreciative yells from the peanut gallery). Guerra's bad eye goes all googly and he hands the blade to an accomplice as Alvarez goes down, blood seeping from his shoulder; Morales, presumably satisfied, makes a hasty exit. Alvarez gets ample screen time to writhe in agony as he lies bleeding on a gym mat.
Redding's helping Hill get dressed for his mother's funeral, Redding's tie-tying emphasizing his fatherly relationship to Hill; Hill says he wishes Redding could attend the services. Redding agrees that he'd really like to go, but understands because he's not really a relative. Hill still can't believe that his "Moms be dead." I am shocked, simply shocked, by this display of Ebonics from our trusty monologist -- even times of extreme grief do not excuse massacres of the Queen's English. Redding starts reminiscing about meeting Eugenia -- years ago, at about age 14; Redding was hanging with Hill's father when a woman, attached to a beautiful pair of eyes, started across the street. Redding pointed her out to Hill Senior, their eyes met, and the rest (wedding, child) is history. Hill, a close-up of his profile indicating that he's about to utter something important, asks Redding, "You always loved my moms, didn't you?" Redding says of course he did, but Hill turns around and repeats himself, emphasizing and drawing out the word "loved," and making it sound salacious and naughty, so there's absolutely no question what he means. Redding says he loved Hill's father too -- um, okay, TMI, thank you very much -- but that life works out the way life works out. Zen Master Redding then hands something he'd like Hill to place on his mother's grave -- his high school graduation ring. Because nothing says "gee, sorry you're dead" quite like Jostens.
A puppet that looks like a used tampon fills the screen as Ryan asks Busmalis about his disappearing fiancée and Poet says something rhyming and dumb. Busmalis points out that Norma's name is still in the credits of Miss Sally (the puppet show, I presume), and Poet says something that doesn't rhyme about the show -- oh, according to Poet it's called Mith Thally's Thcoolyard -- getting cancelled, which upsets Busmalis in exactly the way I imagine he'd be upset by the cancellation of a puppet show. Poet calls him a sad fuck and says he understands why Norma bolted, which quite upsets Rebadow, who tells Poet he knows not of what he speaks and that he's a "stupid fool." Rebadow retreats to his pod; Busmalis follows.