Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Behaving Badly
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2002
Leo's questioning Ryan about the Paper Mate incident -- oh, turns out Peter Criss and his bad hair just went to Benchley Memorial. Leo asks about Ryan snitching on MM (just a rumor I was repeating, says Ryan) and then about Keenan's shamrock, which was found in Montgomery's cell. Oh, yeah, says Ryan, I think I recognize that. As usual, Leo's getting nowhere.
TV news anchor says that '60s radical Suzanne Fitzgerald, otherwise known as Ryan's real mother, was released from prison after Governor Diminutive commuted her sentence to two years of community service. Cut to Sister Pete and Mukada (looking completely recovered from the bus accident) telling Suzanne how jazzed they are that she'll be doing her community service at Oz, and what a nifty idea starting a performing arts program is (I, for one, think it's preposterous). Pete worries that it'll be tough to convince the inmates to sign up; Mukada thinks they'll jump at the novelty but that it will be tough to keep them involved. Suzanne says that she's motivated ten-year-old boys, so she can surely manage the prisoners. Great -- a cavalier attitude like that always gets punished. Can't wait to see what happens to Ryan's Moms.
Behind curtains on the cafeteria stage, Suzanne hammers out a dirge on the piano. Ryan appears. They hug. He reminds us that Suzanne is not Cyril's mother, and that Ryan and Cyril are half-brothers. Ryan introduces Cyril. Cyril gives Suzanne a dorky paper flower he made. They hug. Suzanne asks if Ryan and Cyril will be signing up for her program. As if. She makes a stupid joke about the boys' father's voice -- like a warthog! -- and Cyril laughs like a retard. Which makes a lot of sense. Suzanne asks if they boys will have some of their friends sign up, which translates to Ryan holding Busmalis against a wall and demanding that he join. Busmalis showcases his prodigious singing talent (high school drama, natch), but Ryan says that as far as his mother's concerned, Busmalis has never sung before in his life. Hey, he's already convinced me. As Ryan walks away, Hoyt says that his mom looks mighty fine and asks if she fucks younger guys. I love Hoyt. Ryan tackles him.
In the cafeteria, Suzanne attempts to relax Busmalis by fondling his face while he sings scales. The meal shift enters. Ryan looks horrified, makes a beeline over to his mother, and tells her they need to talk. He tells her that she has to quit, that he's pissed off a lot of the other inmates and that she might be in danger. She points out the guard standing nearby and thanks Ryan for his concern, but tells him that she isn't going anywhere. He gets more agitated, because she's not picking up on his thinly veiled "Mom, you're embarrassing the hell out of me with your dumb-ass music classes and all the other guys will make fun of me" pleas. She tells him that this is where she's needed, and that nothing he can say will change her mind, as Pancamo wonders if Ryan plans to work.