Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Behaving Badly
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2002
Rebadow says there aren't any tricks -- he's just been himself. Then he goes philosophical, explaining the generation gap to Alvarez. "Young people today," he says (and I groan), have come of age in a world of infinite choice, which is cool, but so many of them tend to battle with themselves over their own identities. In Rebadow's day (and I groan again), things were simpler. No finding-yourself crap. They were just a bunch of teenagers headed to war. Alvarez thinks Rebadow is about to pull the hero card, and asks if they were all he-men (to Alvarez's She-Ra), but Rebadow says no; it was just about accepting who you were, working with what you had, and being ready and willing to accept the blow. Tucked within his nostalgic armed-forces pep rally, Rebadow's got a pretty good rule of thumb: never turn down blow if somebody's offering. Rebadow tells Alvarez that he's "faced plenty of hurdles and moments of fear" in his life, but "coming from an age when men took the blow [see?]," he's always felt comfortable in his own skin. Edified, Alvarez bolts.
Lara Croft's breasts, followed closely by Lara Croft, run and jump; the camera pans back to reveal Guerra playing on a computer. Do these guys really have internet access? That seems like something that would be off-limits to prisoners -- just think of the bomb-building, pedophiliac, and other nefarious opportunities, not to mention the fact that online porn could make the computer room an awfully messy place to spend time. Alvarez wanders in and sits down next to Guerra, who's growing increasingly befuddled by the former's brazen behavior. Alvarez rolls his chair over even closer to Guerra and tells him that he wants him to stab him (this sentence is brought to you by the pronoun "him"). More befuddlement. Basically, Alvarez wants Guerra to stab him in the shoulder -- but not to kill him. Guerra gets the satisfaction of a free shot at Alvarez without retaliation, and Alvarez survives. Alvarez demands witnesses (no guards, just inmates), so that if Guerra does kill him, someone will go to the warden and land Guerra on death row. Two guards look at the pair suspiciously, and they smile and look guilty (and Guerra's eye is totally droopy -- I had never noticed that before). So, is this just Alvarez buying his survival, or does he have something else up his sleeve? Discuss.
Guerra, whittling and talking to Morales, says he is, in fact, going to kill Alvarez; he'll just place a shank in his hand after he's down and claim self-defense. Morales gets all wiggy because his sister is dead, and since he's heard the news, he's "felt nothing." But Guerra's murderous plans give Morales a little charge in his belly -- his words, not mine -- and he thinks that's a little fucked-up (my words, not his). Morales says that his sister worshipped him, and that Guerra can't kill Alvarez. Guerra's now getting confusing messages from all sides and wonders what the hell is happening. Morales tells him that, because he hasn't shed a tear for a sister who thought so highly of him, and because he's getting all revved up over the possibly slaying of Alvarez, something is wrong. They owe it to themselves -- and to the memory of Annette -- to take a quiet moment and try to figure out what's happening. Okay, time out. Morales is just now realizing that there's something amiss? Like perhaps he's a complete sociopath who's dangerous tendencies have been exacerbated by prison? Are we witnessing the beginning of a turn-around that would make McManus all wet-eyed? Morales just doesn't seem like the introspective type. Guerra tells him it's just a delayed reaction -- that he'll be "crying like a baby" in a week -- and argues that they don't have time to wait. Their best chance to kill Alvarez is now. As my mother never said, don't put off until tomorrow what you can kill today.