Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Behaving Badly
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.12.2002
To drive home the point that many laws are dumb, Hill reels off a few more. In Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife once a month. In Los Angeles, a man can legally beat his wife with a leather strap no more than two inches wide. If she gives her permission, the strap can be any size. Oh, yeah, and in many states, butt-sex is illegal. That ranks high for stupidity, inappropriate use of political power, and reversal of the laws of nature.
McManus walks into Leo's office, where Perky Assistant reveals that he's busy, since McManus can't gather that from the shouts emanating from behind the closed door. It's Brass, protesting Leo's decision to reassign him to reception; he wants to be dealing with the prisoners in Unit B. McManus raises his voice in protest, but Leo says that guards who deal with prisoners need to be agile. Good point. Leo says he feels bad, but that prisons aren't charities, a distinction that seems to have evaded McManus for far too long. McManus corners Brass by the time clock and suggests that he sue. "Sue who?" asks Brass. Sue Ellen! Oz, the prison system, the state, whoever, says McManus, and launches into a PSA for the Americans with Disabilities Act, passed by Congress in 1990 to prevent discrimination in the workplace. Why no, Officer Dave Brass, it's not just for people in wheelchairs. It's for People Just Like You. McManus suggests that Brass seek out Eleanor O'Connor.
Post seek-out, Eleanor O'Connor pays McManus a visit, during which they engage in unremarkable ex-spouse banter. She's impressed with Em City and says maybe it was worth walking out on her after all; he protests; she tells him it's fine, that he made his choices and she made hers; he says it's good to see her and asks her to dinner; she says no. Then she brings up Brass; sad story, she says. Had him reassigned to the cafeteria, which gets him back in the fray and frees up time for physical therapy. She's working miracles already. She wonders if McManus told him to sue (sure did), wonders if he was serious or just testing her (a bit of both, actually), calls him a son of a bitch. That's the nicest thing you ever said to me, says he. Name-calling will get worse, says she. Smile, smile, check ya later.
After winning at pool, Robson wanders over to where Schillinger sits, head down, and leans on the bars with his arm raised, showing off a big, smelly armpit. Robson tells Schillinger he should come out and play, but Schillinger's still torn up about the accident. Seems Carrie's parents are taking Jewel back to Montana, and Schillinger worries that he'll never see his granddaughter again. Robson, caring deeply, shrugs it off; when Schillinger asks if he ever had kids, Robson says his wife didn't want to mess up her figure. Then do what the famous do and adopt!