Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on November 5, 2001
"Mommy! Mommy! Look what me and my friend Abigail did! We gave each other summer haircuts! Aren't we pretty?" They provide some home-life back story by discussing the fact that SOK blames BOK for K moving out. BOK thinks SOK is trying manipulate K into siding with her in her war against her mother. Kiefer assures BOK that he busts SOK when SOK tries to turn him against BOK. "Don't take it so personally," says Kiefer, going to the double-door fridge and getting himself a little tub o' pudding. "It's just a mother/teenaged daughter thing." BOK sulks some more, so Kiefer suggests that they go talk to her right this second and let her know she can't play them against each other. They walk to her room, engage in a little foreplay on the way, and open her door. Despite the generic grrrl-rocker tunes blaring from her stereo, Spawn of Kiefer is nowhere to be found. The sound of a car pulling out of the Casa Kiefer driveway can plainly be heard through an open window. Bride of Kiefer vows to ground her for two months. As Kiefer goes through SOK's scrapbook, the phone rings. It's for Kiefer. Kiefer's boss wants him to come in to the office for an emergency meeting. Kiefer apologizes for having to leave. He tells BOK he'll be back in an hour and they'll look for SOK then.As Kiefer leaves the house, he calls one of SOK's ex-boyfriends, a shirtless tattooed guy smoking pot and listening to loud rock music in a candlelit room. He assures Kiefer that SOK isn't there. Oh sure, the kids think Kiefer's square, but ultimately they respect the Kiefer and tell him the truth. Spawn of Kiefer is, in fact, in an SUV with a girlfriend of hers. Friend of Spawn of Kiefer (FOSOK) is a poor man's Mena Suvari from American Beauty -- tarty but stiff. They're on their way to one of those proverbial double dates with a couple of college guys. Like, doesn't anyone know that the college guy/high school girl double date never happens anymore? If a high school girl wants to get date raped by a college boy these days, she's got to team up with a girlfriend or two and sneak into a keg party as a free agent. So anyway, as SOK applies lip gloss, FOSOK moves to the music and explains that they're all meeting in a furniture store because one of these boys works there. Poor FOSOK. She was obviously told by the director to rock out to some music that wasn't actually playing on the set when they shot this scene. "We'll edit it in later," says the director. "It'll look great. You won't look stupid at all!" But the music they added to the soundtrack totally doesn't match whatever she's "grooving" to now, so she totally does look stupid.