Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Pain In My Ass
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.16.2002
Oops.
It was all Lori's fault! I swear! She even gave me the Doublemint gum to mask the smell!
Anyway, Raige and Michelle talk and walk down the hall, with Michelle bitching about getting grounded for two weeks over the schnapps incident while Raige suggests that Michelle's mother is merely attempting to set appropriate boundaries for her daughter. Michelle thinks Raige is on crack. The bell rings, and Raige and Michelle head into class.
History Class Of The Damned. Stan Grossman from Fargo drones on listlessly about the Magna Carta as each and every student ignores him. Raige checks her watch. Michelle passes her a note. Stan Grossman calls them "delinquents." Oh, so it's like Special Education in Hairspray, only without the beehives and the hand jive and the dodge ball. How...original. Not. Raige has had enough edumacation for one day and rises from her seat to leave and find her parents, despite the Dolt's repeated warnings against such action. The speds, on the other hand, cheer her on. Raige twists the doorknob to find her path blocked by a school security guard. "Going somewhere?" he asks rhetorically. Wah wah wah.
The Loneliest Precinct House In The World. Piper races in to ask Darryl if he found any information on Charlie and Caril. Seems they were small-time jewelry thieves who were gunned down in the early 1950s. Piper rolls her eyes. "I knew they were criminals." "Who?" the clueless detective asks. "The ghosts who possessed Phoebe and Cole," Piper replies, loudly enough to turn heads. Darryl drags her into a filing room, reminding her that she agreed to dispense with the "creepy talk" while within the confines of The Loneliest Precinct House In The World. Piper rolls her eyes again and fills Darryl in on the day's events. Charlie and Caril told her they had unfinished business, and she's worried that should they injure or kill anyone, Phoebe and Cole will be the ones who end up in jail. With Raige and the Dolt stuck in the past, Darryl's the only person she can turn to for assistance. Darryl grits his teeth, but agrees to help. Anything for Cole. Right, Darryl? According to the database, Charlie and Caril were killed in front of a jewelry store during a botched robbery. The store still exists. Perhaps that's where they went?
Indeed it is, as the next shot reveals. Slo-mo Charlie and Caril stride into a store and remove their sunglasses. Caril notes "one security guard, armed" and "two female customers." Charlie and Caril approach the counter, where they're greeted by the officious...oh, the hell with this. You know? The. Hell. With. This. The subplot is asinine (which, given the main plot, is saying a lot), Alyssa Milano and Julian McMahon's Southern accents suck, Cole's pomaded hair is ridiculous and shows off to great disadvantage McMahon's spreading male pattern baldness, their clothes are horrible, and I just don't give a rat's ass. Caril and Charlie disable the security guard, steal his gun, and swipe a diamond engagement ring. The store's surveillance camera gets the whole thing on tape. That's it. That's the scene, okay? Let's move on.