Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Pain In My Ass
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.16.2002
After the break, accident aftermath. Raige is hysterical. The Dolt is comforting. Well, as comforting as the Dolt ever is. Raige couldn't prevent the accident, because it wasn't her fault in the first place. Her parents' numbers were up, and there was nothing Raige could do about it. "It was their destiny," he tells her. "Just like it was your destiny to be saved by magic." It slowly dawns on Raige that she orbed out of the car. Actually, she comes right out and says, "I could always orb." The kindly gang on the forums has suggested quite rightly that Raige would have realized this long before she met Piper, Phoebe, and the Dolt, but I'm going to let it slide because I want to finish this damned recap before my fortieth birthday. This realization gives Raige some comfort, but she continues to weep, for Pops and Lisa died never knowing what a success she made of her life. We get several shots of the flaming Family Four-Door Of Fiery Doom, but I'm not seeing any crispy remains strapped into the front seats. Not that I necessarily need to, but, hey, what's good for The Godfather, Part II should be good enough for Charmed, dammit.
The Wonderful World Of I Don't Care. Piper and Darryl search for Charlie and Caril. Meanwhile, Charlie and Caril -- in wedding drag -- hold a priest at gunpoint. The priest unwillingly recites the marriage vows. Piper and Darryl barge in. Darryl and Charlie engage in a pissing contest. Charlie gets shot. The swirls, thwarted, exit Phoebe and Cole. Piper summons That "Clyde" Person, who appears in time to retrieve Raige and the Dolt from the past. The Dolt heals Cole while This "Clyde" Person sends the Charlie and Caril swirls back through his magical door. This "Clyde" Person leaves, taking his door with him. Phoebe agrees to accept the now-healed Cole's previous offer of marriage. Piper, Raige, and the Dolt beam. Darryl weeps the bitter, bitter tears of rejection.
Christ. I just realized why they named him "Clyde." I told you I was near-comatose from the very beginning of this episode.
Manor dining room. The Ps toast Phoebe's engagement with apple cider, which in my book is bad luck. Never toast with non-alcoholic beverages. Ever. Don't say I didn't warn you. Weekly Summation Time continues apace. While Raige discovered she did not cause the accident that killed her parents, she remains upset that Pops and Lisa will never meet the reconstituted Charmed Ones and learn what Raige has become. Enter the Dolt, dragging the spirits incarnate of Pops and Lisa behind him, courtesy of That "Clyde" Person and his magical door. Lisa tells Raige they're very proud of her. Pops reveals that they've been watching Raige the entire time: "We were with you every step of the way." Even when she was shamelessly fornicating with Shane and Glenn? That's just disturbing. Raige flings herself into her dead parents' arms as Piper, Phoebe, and the Dolt grin. Raige wells up as we fade to black.