Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 104 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Coyote Not-So-Ugly
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 2001.01.11
Out back, Piper struggles with the garbage bags, trying to find a relatively empty Dumpster. SlutAndrew slithers up behind her, startling her. SlutAndrew then plunges the knife into his/her/its heart, and, gasping, staggers back to slump against a wall. Piper makes frantic hooting noises, and as she kneels in front of SlutAndrew, the SlutEssence shoots from his head to hers. SlutPiper rises to her feet, straightens her jacket, and says to DeadAndrew, "Thanks for the ride." She then covers the corpse with a discarded sheet, and moves to a shard of broken mirror in one of the bins. "You better be as powerful as they say you are," she oozes to the reflection of RealPiper in the glass. Commercial.
SlutPiper reenters the club, and pauses to ask RealPiper's reflection in the chrome on the pay phone what Prue's name is. "If you get out of my body right now," RealPiper replies, "I might not have to vanquish your sorry ass." SlutPiper remarks that RealPiper is "not as weak" as she thought she would be and heads back into the club proper. Prue and Justin are still at it with the flirting. Prue has scored a five on Justin's ten-point dating list, whereas Justin has scored a measly four on Prue's. Exciting, isn't it? SlutPiper walks up to the bar behind them and pours herself a shot. Prue hustles over, telling SlutPiper that booze is not the way to deal with her "reunion jitters." SlutPiper is, of course, preoccupied with other issues, but refrains from pouring herself a second shot. The Bottle-Blonde Bitch approaches, practically ordering SlutPiper to transfer the hors d'oeuvres trays from one table to another, and SlutPiper rather apathetically agrees to do so. As the Bottle-Blonde Bitch strides away with a false smile plastered all over her hideously smug face, Prue urges SlutPiper to stand up for herself. "Okay," SlutPiper agrees, and follows that with "Hey! Bitch! Move the damn trays yourself!" The bitch in question is taken aback, but complies. As Prue babbles something about the inappropriateness of the "bitch" appellation, RealPiper temporarily takes control of her body and clutches Prue's wrist, pleading for help. SlutPiper regains control of Piper's body, makes an excuse to leave, and takes off for the Halliwell manor.
Out in the alley, Piggy wanders into view, holding his right hand before his body as "eerie" "music" plays in the background. The Hand of Piggy leads Piggy to the shrouded corpse of DeadAndrew. Piggy tosses a little Latin voodoo DeadAndrew's way -- something about vitas animas that someone who remembers high-school Latin far better than I do will have to translate for all of you ["it means 'living spirits'" -- Sars] -- and, accompanied by a bolt of alchemist energy, jolts DeadAndrew back to life. Andrew staggers to his feet with a lot of "What? What the hell?" noises as Piggy demands to know where the Slut is now. Andrew is distracted by the nine-inch carving knife sticking out of his chest. Piggy tosses Andrew up against the wall in a chokehold and tells him to "focus." Andrew pulls it together long enough to clue Piggy in on the brown-haired woman from the "big house on Prescott Street." There is no Prescott Street in San Francisco, in case you were wondering. More overacting from Piggy, more amusing befuddlement from Andrew Bowen. Andrew asks Piggy why he's still alive, given the big honking knife in his chest. In response, Piggy turns Andrew back into DeadAndrew. Poor Andrew. You were far more interesting than any of the other subsidiary characters I've seen thus far on this show, for whatever that's worth. Piggy covers up the corpse again and waddles off down the alley.