Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT You Give Me Fever
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.06.2003
Then we're in some random parking lot. Sloane walks up to a car and raps on the window. Penis Head's inside. Heh. I just got a random mental image of a big penis sitting in a car. Heh heh. I need professional help. NOW. Sloane gets into the car and informs Penis Head that he found the marksman for the Sydney assassination and he costs $500,000. Penis Head is fine with this price and tells Sloane that if the marksman jugs it, Sloane can kiss his freedom goodbye, 'cuz Penis Head'll hand over the dossier on Uncle Arvin's extracurricular activities to the Justice Department. Sloane just looks at Penis Head as if he'll soon be spouting blood and guts and oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Now is the time on Alias when we dance. ["I actually witnessed the dance last Sunday, and all I have to say is STAAAAND BACK, PEOPLE." -- Sars]
After we dance and get more cold bevvies, we rejoin Creepy Cronenberg in the Dream Dugout. Kaya is thankfully nowhere to be seen. There's a knock at the door, and Cronenberg goes to answer it. Well, look who it is. Little Sarkie Poo. He introduces himself to Cronenberg by way of shooting him in the left leg. What, he can't shake hands like a normal person?
Diner of Long Lost Friends and Their Once-Dead Love Interests. Will's recounting what happened to him after Francie stabbed him. Namely, that he woke up in the bathtub, the place was on fire, he crawled out and woke up a few days later in a hospital. He's all, dude, the fact that I wasn't actually dating Francie, that it was her double instead? Yeah, I used to think that story was the crackerjack expo of all time. But yours? I think yours kinda tops it. Syd just looks at him and says, "She survived. Alison Doren. The woman you thought was Francie." Will's smile disappears. "She's working with a group called the Covenant. We think they're the group responsible for kidnapping me and setting the fire." Will looks like he just swallowed an iguana covered with hot sauce. He's all, dude? I used to think of myself as a pacifist, you know? But, um, now that I know that bitch is alive? Yeah. Fuck pacifism. Get me a gun and a compass and I'll hunt that fembot down and smoke her ass. Heh.
Syd's all, I wouldn't have come here if I didn't have to. Will's all, baby? I missed you the most! "You're like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he says. Aw. Missed you, Will! Missed you! Syd blah-blahs about Creepy Cronenberg and the box of St. Aidan Flakes. Will doesn't miss a beat. "St. Aidan was a contact of mine," he says. "When I was an analyst at the agency. Yeah. St. Aidan was his code name." Syd wants to know his real name. Will never knew it. Syd wants Will to put her in touch with this dude. Will's all, can't, baby. He'd only meet with me. You know, maybe I should contact him myself! I'll go in there! Syd's all, NO! Will's all, dude? I've been shoveling cement around construction sites for two years. Please please PLEASE let me go do some spy shit again! Syd finally relents and asks him what the protocol was for contacting St. Aidan.