Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hard Vs. Mean
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.21.2011
Spencer, of course, immediately checks the car's hood for warmth, and determines that Ian must be within walking distance since Melissa didn't drive anywhere. So yes, he is camping out in the woods, a woodsly ghost, a soon-to-be father zombie, who has managed to locate a way of charging his phone or messaging device, despite being off the grid. And dead.
Spencer: "If only I were able to talk to my friends about this! But alas I cannot!"
Moments later: The girls convene to discuss it at length.
CAMP PACKANACK
Walking back from their intense meeting, after all those minutes of being kept apart, vowing to undermine and ignore the Big Breakup decree and lie their asses off -- like they've been doing this entire episode -- somehow they walk past the Old DiLaurentis house, where Jason is going nuts being sketch about absolutely everything involving the house and the yard. He is putting up a fence so that the dog will stop bothering the suspicious area of his yard. He is digging up strange holes. He is punching out chunks of drywall. He is tearing that mother down like the anti-Alison.
Jason: "There's a lot of curious creeps in the world. And one way or another, people are gonna mind their own business."
Liars: "You mean like us? Is that a threat? We tend to view everything as a threat, due to the fact that murderous people and dangerous objects keep flying directly at our faces every minute of every day. Not to mention that creepy blind girl."
Jason: "You girls better go home."
Liars: "That was highly ambiguous, but okay. Later!"
Liars: "Who's he trying to keep out with that fence?"
Aria: "Keep out? Or keep in?"
Liars: "...Um, keep out. That question made no sense whatsoever. Unless Alison is in the attic, dressing up like herself and spying on all of us because we all manage to be next-door neighbors to this house simultaneously, that question made zero sense."
A-TAG
The dog digs into the tarp on the yard, and somebody whistles for him. The dog lies down sweetly and A gives him a good old-fashioned petting. Everybody tenses up because the dog is cute and A is awful, waiting forever and ever for the dog to get strangled or vacuumed up or put in a tote bag and smothered or whatever, but no. A just gives the dog the petting of a lifetime, and we out.
Next week: Emily defrauds her parents and the collegiate system, earning a tongue-lashing from Kyle Chandler. Melissa turns out to be building a wicker effigy of Ian in the woods and showing it pictures of their devil baby. Caleb opens a sports & outdoor store with all the camping supplies he's been stealing, while Lucas and Mona plan an outrageous scheme to get Noel Kahn back. Alison pushes Hanna's new stepsister down some stairs at a frat party. Jenna gets fired from her construction job and is forced to play the flute for pennies on busy street corners. Ezra is put firmly into jail.