Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hard Vs. Mean
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.21.2011
Smarmy, dimpled recruiter: "Emily Fields? I would like to offer you a college scholarship, specifically for people who are not moving to Texas."
HASTINGS
Melissa: "Spencer, why are you putting store-bought brownies on a plate like you baked them yourself?"
Spencer: "Because it's the most Spencer Thing I could possibly do? But it gets better, because I'm going to take them next door to Jason and pretend to welcome him to the neighborhood."
Melissa: "Jason DiLaurentis? He looks very different now and doesn't have that distinctive voice he used to have. Also, bears an eerie resemblance to his dead sister."
Spencer: "Speaking of, do you remember how Jason and your dead husband used to be friends and do drugs and spy on us young girls and then your dead husband killed his sister and tried to frame me for it? Does any of that ring a bell?"
Melissa: "Subtle, Spence. You literally cannot go a single scene without fucking with my head."
Spencer: "Humor is subjective!"
Needless to say this conversation goes poorly, due to Ian either being dead and leaving Melissa a widow, or being very much alive, making her a psycho. Also, I know this doesn't make sense but I can't stop thinking about how Spenser/"Spencer" connects to Coleridge/"Taylor," and how maybe their devil baby really is named after its aunt, in that way. The other thing I forgot to say last week is: How funny was it when Jenna came to the window last week after Spencer knocked on the door?
Jenna: "Hellooo? Who's out there on the porch? I can't tell because I'm blind."
MARIN
I like having Hanna be the one kicking against the pricks w/r/t to the Big Breakup, because Hanna will always have the most to be angry about.
Ashley: "Hanna, you remember your father."
Dad: "Hanna, it's a pleasure to see you. Gotten run over lately?"
Hanna: "Do you hear something? Must be the wind. Anyway, I was just over here thinking about my 99 problems and abandonment issues."
Ashley: "I know, it's been tough not hanging out with the other girls. I overheard you discussing that with them at length and I was so sorry for all of you."
Dad: "Hanna, I'm sorry I abandoned you and made you even more of a basketcase, but I'm here now. Let's not really be a family in any way."
Hanna: "Mother, please tell the man standing to your left that I appreciate his concern. Now, I must go."