Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, and Bugaboos
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.1999
Back at the bookstore, everyone is still wrestling over the rendezvous point. Judy suggests her place. Lily appears to consider it, which prompts Soliloquy Judy to gripe, "First of all, I never thought that she'd say yes." Then you shouldn't have offered. At the store, she assures Lily that she's going out anyway. Lily stares at her for a second, open-mouthed, imagining the possibilities. Then she grabs Judy and plants a big kiss on her cheek, saying, "I'll go call him!" before rushing off.
Soliloquy Judy continues, "I mean, people say things they don't mean all the time. It's part of the human condition." Again, you shouldn't have offered. "I honestly thought it wouldn't bother me," she says with a shrug. Obviously, it did. See my point above.
Cut to Lily cautiously opening the door to Judy's apartment. Rick peers in over her shoulder. Okay, Judy's apartment is basically set up to let us know what an artsy free spirit she is. Our first clue is the blue mannequin head just inside the door, which is wearing a hat with a gigantic red flower in it. It's so 1985. And not in a good way, if there is one. The camera pans the rest of the space, which is basically a wide-open studio with jumbles of mismatched, colorful furniture. "No cats?" Rick asks. Lily assures him there are none, which is surprising since Judy's a spinster and all. As Rick shuts the door behind him, some adult-contempo version of the porn soundtrack bwow-chicka standard takes over the audio. The camera cuts to a close-up of a red feather boa draped over a dress form that's covered in what appears to be Japanese characters. A hand slips the boa off its perch. We see Lily sitting at a dressing table applying lip gloss. Rick strolls up behind her and seductively drapes the boa across her neck, pulling her toward him. She smiles widely as he leans in and nuzzles her cheek. They kiss. He kneels and unbuttons her blouse as the cheesy pseudo-soulful vocals kick in on the soundtrack.
Next thing you know, the camera's cut to a bathtub. Lily's foot extends past the shower curtain, her toes slipping languorously over the old-school chrome faucets. The camera pans along the flowered vinyl curtain and we get just a glimpse of bubbles on bare skin when the phone rings in the other room.
The camera cuts over to the phone just as the answering machine picks up. Judy's voice comes over the machine, telling Lily that she's coming home early, and that she hopes it's not a problem. Since Lily's too busy getting clean and dirty, I think it might be.