Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, and Bugaboos
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.1999
We cut back to Rick's place where, yep, they're still getting it on. Heavy breathing, slurpy kisses -- the usual.
Soliloquy Lily is still puzzling over why this "desire" wasn't there "for the person [she] supposedly loved." Well, the word "supposedly" goes a long way toward explaining it.
More breathing, slurping...Lily asks, "Do you know that word, 'besotted'?" "If you want me to," Rick answers from his groin, going in for another grope. He mutters something about her mouth. "I never really used it," Lily says. Her mind works in strange ways, no? "Your mouth?" Rick asks, confused, since he's just been using it himself. Lily says she meant "'besotted' in a sentence." Rick assures her, "Nobody has." She tells him that's how she is when she's with him: "Nothing else matters." Rick wholeheartedly agrees. They mack some more. Rick facetiously says, "We're horrible people. Horrible, terrible people." And Lily gets that pouty look she gets when her conscience niggles. She says they're not horrible people, just "horrible parents." Why? Parents need to get laid, too. Not that it's something anyone likes to think about. Lily gets over her attack of conscience by tearing off Rick's shirt.
Cut to Jessie and Eli sitting in Karen's living room. Jessie's making a futile attempt at interviewing Eli in place of Rick. He's stretched out on the couch, reading a magazine, and tossing out half-assed answers. Jessie gets fed up in short order. Eli suggests that Jessie bullshit some answer and add something that Rick would say. Jessie rejects the suggestion. Eli starts rummaging through his backpack and tells her just to phone Rick, then. Jessie complains that she did, but that he's not home. Eli makes a big show of realizing that one of his books is missing. He starts freaking because there's a test on one of the chapters the next day. Jessie suggests that maybe he forgot it at Rick's. Hearing Rick mentioned, Karen's ass-pole stands at attention, poking her in the ribs. She wants to know what's at Rick's. Eli starts yanking on his jacket, and Karen says he should call Rick first to make sure the book is there. He insists that it is and heads off to meet his destiny, a.k.a. Rick's bare ass hovering over Lily. The poor lad.
Judy's giving Grace and Zoe a quick lesson on making crepes, a skill she learned from an ex-boyfriend named Franco. Grace says that Lily thought Judy was addicted to him. "Oh, well, I guess the shoe's on the other foot now," Judy muses smugly. Grace starts in on the Lily-bashing, using words like "idiot" and "ridiculous." Zoe defends Lily, and Judy chastises Grace for talking about her mother that way. Zoe fumes out of the room, and Judy tries to talk to Grace. Grace insists that Lily's "making a total fool of herself!" She watches Judy for a second and demands, "Why are you looking at me like that? I know she's having sex with him!" She makes a self-righteous stink-face at Judy and then says, "Crepe's burning." Then the little bitch totally makes a "nyahh" face at Judy and walks out. To Judy's credit, she chooses to tend to the kitchen hazard rather than running Grace down and pimp-slapping her like I would have.