Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, and Bugaboos
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.1999
Over at Rick's place, Jessie wanders into Rick's bedroom, where Eli's flopped out on the bed studying. Jessie stretches out next to him and wonders where Rick is. When she tries to peek into Eli's textbook, he slams it shut and snaps for her to "quit it. [He's] working." The phone rings. "Jen," Eli suaves. "No, sorry," Karen says with a chuckle. "Is it Dad?" Jessie chirps. Eli shushes her and assures Karen that everything is all right. She says she needs to speak with Rick; she'll be picking them up early. Eli stammers and says that Rick's out getting fried chicken. Not a bad euphemism, really, since fried chicken and what Rick's doing are both finger-lickin' good. I know: ew. Karen checks her watch and tells Eli to tell Rick that she'll be by in half an hour to pick them up. After hanging up, Eli says, "I hate it when her voice gets like that." Jessie's confused: "He went to get fried chicken?" Eli breaks it to her gently: "He's with The Mom."
The camera cuts to a close-up of the pillows on Judy's bed and pans down to a chenille throw. The throw starts sliding off the bed, and the camera follows. We find two shiny happy naked people camped out on the floor. They smile at one another, and Rick lets out a satiated sigh, like he just downed a bucket of the Colonel's best. "What?" Lily asks. "You were there," he growls, pulling in her in for seconds.
Soliloquy Lily's twirling her hair, dreamily saying, "I guess something about being there just did something to me." She takes a deep satisfied breath and then draws herself up sharply, admitting, "I couldn't deal with her bed, though. It...it just suddenly...." She shuts her eyes and shakes her head to get the willies out. "Became like some French movie where the sisters are a little too close." She adds, "The floor worked surprisingly well," and smiles into her lap.
Lily and Rick struggle to get their clothes on while continuing to make out. It's no easy feat, apparently. They fall back on the bed, kissing and rolling around and smiling and breathing heavily. I feel like I'm watching a Brazilian soap, except there's no soft-core nudity. They jump and look up at the sound of the door. Judy's standing there, frozen, looking back at them.
Cut to Rick standing in his boxers and an unbuttoned shirt. His jeans hit him in the face, tossed by someone off-screen. Judy wonders how they didn't hear the phone. Lily runs past, buttoning her shirt. "We just didn't!" Judy wanders over and finds the evidence in the bathtub. "That explains it," she mutters, wondering what it would cost to have the tub resurfaced.