Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, and Bugaboos
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.1999
Jessie follows Eli down the stairs, posing her first question. He cuts her off: "I meant later. Not in front of [jerks his head toward the door]." Eli opens the door for Karen, who casts her eyes around and says she needs to talk to Rick. Eli lies that he's in the shower. Jessie freezes, uneasily watching the exchange. Karen asks, "Why? Is he going somewhere?" like it's any of her damn business, and Eli keeps with his streak, saying that he thinks so. Eli fakes a move to go get Rick, knowing that Karen will stop him. "Better not. I'll never hear the end of it," she says. Jessie continues staring at Eli as if he's talking out of his ass -- literally. Karen moves to grab one of their bags, but Eli rushes to get it, saying that he's got it. "Oh, big man," Jessie mutters. He tells her to shut up.
After commercials, we're back in the kitchen at Manning Manor. Zoe races in with a stack of photos, and busts out, "I found all of these cute pictures of me at Dad's, from when I was young!" As opposed to now when she's all of, what, nine? She holds them out to Lily, and Grace schleps past with a bitter, "Ah, yes, let's talk about you." Lily asks what Grace would like to talk about. She leaves Zoe hanging, asking whether Grace finished all her homework. "I did! Because I didn't have any," Zoe chirps, before lighting her hair on fire and dancing around singing, "Pay attention to me! To me!" Lily doesn't pay her any attention, but instead studies Grace with a worried expression. Grace grabs her lunch, snarks that she finished all her homework, and blows out the door. Lily stares after her while Zoe tries another tack, specifically asking Lily to look at the pictures of her in her Halloween costume while waving them in her face. Lily snaps out of it and wraps her arms around the kid, looking over the pictures.
Out in the driveway, Lily suggests to Grace that they go shopping after school. Grace stares at her lifelessly and asks why. Lily jokes that she "can't afford it. What more reason could [they] need?" Grace suddenly finds Mock Trial really appealing, informing Lily that she has to stay late after school. Lily starts to ask what it's about, and Grace impatiently holds up her hand while sniping that it's just something she has to do. Lily lets her get away with the bizzatch routine, and simply says that "it sounds so harsh." Grace snaps that it isn't, and launches into this big thing to the effect that it's meant to teach them about the law and that there are certain rules and that people who think they can just do whatever they want like children, and act without morals, have to be stopped. Issues? Slightly. Lily stares at her wordlessly as Grace slams the truck door, wondering just what in the hell that was all about and whether it had anything to do with her getting it on in Judy's bathtub.