Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, and Bugaboos
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.1999
Cut to Jessie and Rick flopped out on his bed, where she's interviewing him, finally. Rick makes with the lame attempts at humor until Jessie threatens him with a left hook. They're interrupted by the door buzzer, which Rick says is Karen. The phone rings just after he lets her in. As Jessie rolls off the bed to meet Karen, she spots Eli's book sticking out from underneath it. She pulls it out just as Karen walks up. "What's that?" Karen asks. Eli is so busted.
Eli's blissfully unaware that the wrath of the ass-pole is headed his way. He's rooting around in the kitchen when Karen and Jessie get home. He starts telling Karen about all the heavy work he's been doing around the house for her, not realizing that she's seething. He finally notices that she's just standing there, unsmiling. "Did you meet her or something?" he asks. Karen doesn't know what he's talking about. Instead, she presents the evidence: Jessie found his textbook in Rick's bedroom. She says she'd like an explanation. Eli makes a move to confront Jessie, but Karen holds him back, gritting that this is between the two of them. The ass-pole is getting warmed up now, wondering what Eli was thinking when he lied to her; was it just to put something over on her? Karen wants to know why he wouldn't get the book when he knew where it was. She keeps going and going and going with the guilt trip, ending with, "Don't you see you're only hurting yourself?" Eli wrenches his gaze off the floor and says, "Yeah." Aw, he looks so sad. Karen's ass-pole is appeased enough to leave him alone. Eli finds Jessie and demands to know where his book is. "So now it's my job to keep track of everything that you lose?" she snaps. "Nobody ever said it was your job!" Eli snaps back. Jessie shouts, "And like it's your job to be the dad! Tell me what to say and lie to Mom!" Jessie looks like she's about to cry. Eli's speechless. After a second or two, Jessie tells him the book is at Rick's. Turning away, she grumbles, "You want it, go get it."
Rick answers a knock on his door, and Eli pushes past him without saying a word. "Hey!" Rick exclaims, looking after him. We cut to Eli digging around under Rick's bed. Rick wanders in, book in hand, and asks, "You looking for this?" Eli grabs for the book, but Rick pulls it away, saying he wants to know what's going on. Rick asks why Eli lied to Karen about having the book. Eli says that Rick knows why. Rick denies it. Eli really doesn't want to have to say it. He's so distressed, in fact, that he looks like he's going to bawl. Rick says that he "would appreciate some kind of an answer." Eli explodes: "I was here, okay? I have been covering up for you for weeks, Dad, so don't pretend you don't --" Rick interrupts, "You were here." "Yes!" Eli's face twists at the memory. Rick's face falls into his befuddled guppy expression. Eli's purging now: "I heard you! In here! With her!" The full horror of the situation finally registers with Rick. He apologizes, and says he doesn't want Eli to cover up for him anymore. "I have to!" Eli insists. He can't imagine what Karen would do if she knew how much of Lily Rick's been seeing. No pun intended, I'm sure. Rick softly insists that it's not Eli's job to protect Karen. Eli punches the wall and says it is, because it upsets Karen too much. He storms out.