Episode Report Card Demian: F | 209 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Behold The Power Of Sleaze
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2003.10.12
The Bay Mi...Fuck ME. There's an enormous poster on the wall of Feebs sagely gazing from her laptop, with the slogan "ASK PHOEBE" in the upper left corner. She seems to be sporting a pink Members Only jacket. Asshole. ANY-way. Phoebe motors around the corner to enter the office proper with Elise Rothman, Girl Editor. Elise vomits up gobbets of praise for Phoebe's work, and I briefly wonder why she's even speaking to the eye-socking bitch before I remember Phoebe's selfish yet granted request to erase all memory of last week's office riot from her coworkers' minds. There's far too much of the groveling-praise bullshit before Elise finally wanders away and Phoebe spots Chronic waiting for her in her office. Oh, hell. Eric Dane's gone and sheared off his mop of gravity-defying hair. He's no longer a hedgehog so much as a refugee from Dachau. Bad follicular strategy, dude. Very, very bad. It looks like somebody waxed his head, then hot-glued a mat of brown velour to his scalp. Ew. Phoebe steels herself to greet him, and eventually strides into her office to offer her hand, which Chronic obediently kisses. Next, her Fucking Backup Band kicks in, and there follows endless mixed-signals babbling from the Feebs as she fends off Chronic's tumid emotions. Eventually, she convinces him to meet her later that evening for a dinner date. Scene.
Manor. Phoebe tools up in her hideous, boxy new car, and if any of you kind motorheads can provide me with a make and model for this disgusting vehicle, I'd be most appreciative. Because I intend to hit each dealership that offers them to torch every last one of the unsightly things right down to the tire rims. It'll be like the Earth Liberation Front, only for crimes against good taste. Mitzy, Margo, and Jennifer appear in the window across the way, grinning like the fools they are. Pardon me a moment while I settle on appropriate nicknames for these three, partly because Jennifer doesn't receive a proper character name for at least another half hour, but also because they're spelling "Mitzi" wrong, and it's irritating the crap out of me. For reasons that, if not already apparent, will become brutally so by the end of the evening, Sky is now Mange, McCarthy is Midge, and the Power Ranger is Moron. The Mimbos (kudos to newtocharmed1 for that) retreat into the Manse proper to activate the identity theft mojo, but not before Mange spells out exactly how it'll work. Long story short, while she and her sisters will retain their physical forms, the world will know them as Piper, Phoebe, and Raige. So, not as much morphing as I initially thought there would be tonight, as each titular blonde shall remain that way. That is to say, blonde. I mean, they'll also continue to be titular, but that's not really important to the plot. Oh, shut up. The Cubs just lost Game Seven, and I'm feeling a little vulnerable. No, seriously. No. Seriously. Shut the fuck up. Bastards.