Episode Report Card Demian: F | 209 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Behold The Power Of Sleaze
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2003.10.12
Give me sight through the blackest bile:
Show me the faces I revile
The goo presently shimmers to reveal an image of Piper on the sun porch, spoon-feeding Tiny Gay Chris. "Ew. She's with the baby," Jenny sneers while shoving a banana into her mouth, and before you ask, yes, Brad Kern has seen to it that this banana will not be the last phallic object to part Jenny McCarthy's lips this evening. Referring to Tiny Chris, Jenny adds, "I can't wait to orb that thing into a volcano." The Power Ranger reminds Jenny that she herself will be doing the orbing, thanks very much, as they'll be getting their powers by "sorority." "That's 'seniority,' Margo," Jenny snits, before bitching about not receiving Raige's orbing. "There's nothing wrong with Phoebe's powers, Mitzy," Jennifer sighs, exasperated. "You'll be able to levitate." "Shyeah," Mitzy snaps. "Six feet in the air." Heh. If that, honey. "You'll also have the powers of premonition and empathy," Jennifer offers. "Like I care what happens to people or how they feel," Mitzy duhs. Hee! The Feebs never gave a rat's ass, either, so the switch seems pretty spot-on from where I'm sitting. "Maybe you should care," Margo needles, "instead of this me-me-me attitude all of the time." HA! It's like the production staff lifted viewer sentiment about Phoebe directly from our boards and dropped it whole into the script. Of course, that sentiment ended up in the mouths of a trio of evil bleached bimbos, so the production staff still needs to rot in Hell, but how did this script get past La Milano?
Anyway, there's some tiresome business with a door-to-door vacuum salesman, in which said salesman invades Manse Morphing for a product demo and takes a Jennifer-conjured dagger to the chest for his troubles. Whatever. I mention it only because his corpse becomes a plot point later. The take-away from this scene, aside from proper character names for two of the titular blondes, is the following speech from the as-yet-unemmed Sky: "This is the biggest con of our lives. If we don't get this right, we'll be two-bit magic hustlers forever. The secret of the Charmed Ones lies in their sisterhood -- the Power of Three. Well, guess what? We have our own sisterhood, our own Power of Three, right here. If we can just stick together, we can have it all." Of course, that last line will swing around to bite them all on their collective ass before evening's end. In the meantime, the Ms plus Jennifer head over to the goo bowl to await Phoebe and Raige's return. The camera pans in on the image of Piper and Tiny Gay Chris...