Episode Report Card Demian: F | 209 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Behold The Power Of Sleaze
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2003.10.12
The Bay Fuck Me. Midge breezes through the swinging doors and passes a sheaf of yellow legal-pad paper to Elise, claiming it's a last-minute column rewrite for tomorrow's edition. Elise examines the smeared scrawl and asks, "Is this...crayon?" "Eyeliner, actually," Midge airily replies. "I couldn't find a pen." Elise arches a disdainful brow as Chronic ambles in behind the women. He confirms his dinner date with Phoebe, Midge hikes her tongue down his throat in the middle of the office, Feebs's colleagues have the gall to appear surprised at this latest abhorrent display of unprofessional office behavior, and Midge flounces away. And that's it, really. Thrilling, yes? Not.
Manor. Piper takes an urgent call from the club's manager, who's wondering why she fired that evening's band during their afternoon rehearsal. Piper, naturally, hasn't a clue what's going on, so she slams down the phone, blurts some nanny instructions at Raige, and snatches up her keys from the hall table to motor over to P3 in the Grand Cherokee. She doesn't notice that Mange has taken her place beside the Dolt in the occasionally-abused wedding photo now resting on the sideboard. Yeah, like Piper wouldn't have tied all of her tacky marital memorabilia into a sack with a couple of rocks and pitched the damned thing into the Bay after the divorce. Whatever. Over at the sun porch table, Raige is having problems with the Smurf vanquish she's been mixing, so she asks Phoebe to double-check the ingredients in the nearby Book of Shadows. Phoebe reaches for it, only to have it instantly flare up and snap shut in her face. "That's different," she cringes. She tries again, but the Book simply flares once more and leaps to the floor. Raige and Phoebe shoot worried side-eyes at each other for a moment before Phoebe bellows for Big Not-Listening Chris. Of course, there's no response. Both women's cell phones bleep simultaneously with calls from their respective bosses. During the subsequent overlapping conversations, we discover that Moron's leading a workers' rebellion at North Shore Citrus while Midge has advocated both multiple sex partners and oceans of booze to cure depression. And these two things are problems...how, exactly? Phoebe and Raige split up to salvage their "jobs," agreeing to meet back at the Manor as soon as possible. Raige attempts to return the Book to the attic, but the thing flares up one last time and skitters beneath a sofa like a gigantic, nervous, leather-bound cockroach. Heh. Raige pouts.