Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 14 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Half A Love Story
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.24.2013
Will: "Being in love with you was like the only thing I ever did."
Alicia: "Here's the thing, though. We're keeping each other from moving on."
Will: "We're fine!"
Alicia: "No, we're miserable. And that's because I am pretending we're not over, and you're my boyfriend in my own head, which means I'm being an asshole and ruining both of us. So you need to stop being my boyfriend in my head, and then on your end you need to go date Laura Hellinger."
Laura Hellinger watches through the interrogation room window and suddenly feels like a total asshole, but also that Alicia Florrick is maybe a slut who sleeps with men, and all of it is really unfortunate because: Bad Timing. They're not having an affair now, but when you tell the story it's all happening at the same time: They "had" an affair becomes "they are people who have affairs." It's a lie with a bad fact inside. It's the wrong half of the story.
Will: "We have a residual something or other, and we're dealing with it..."
Alicia: "Do you not get that even just bringing it up, tonight, I'm being an asshole?"
He doesn't. It's the half of the story he never heard, because he wasn't listening.
Alicia: "I'm back with Peter now. Now this has to end."
Will: "Can you just decide that?"
Alicia: "I can. And even if I can't, I have to. So I will. Alicia Florrick."
(Grace's heinous ringtone. Even disembodied, she ruins everything. Everything!)
Grace: "So you were pregnant before you got married? And I was an accident?"
Alicia: "Oh, Jesus."
"Nothing beats Bali! The water is so clear. Like glass. And the men... so advanced, sexually. It's a Hindu culture..."
Alicia: "Put your goddamned grandmother on the phone. Are you at a bar?"
Veronica: "Oh, here comes the lecture."
Alicia: "You literally brought my babies! To a bar!"
Veronica: "[Crazytalk.]"
Alicia: "Listen up, old lady. You get your drunk ass four blocks up, to the Astor Street Mansion, the Shamrock Dinner. I will meet you there. You will not fuck this up. Copy?"
Veronica: "Are you mad?"
Alicia: "Oh, for... Astor Street Mansion. Say it back to me."
So like, Grace looks great and Zach always looks great, and Veronica is dressed like a crazy old lady -- which we all know is the easiest look to transition from day to night that exists -- but you're still... There's something a little oof about the idea, a little cringy. "Here is my entire family in civvies, hanging out at this party of tuxedos." You know what I mean? Like on the scale of Elsbeth Tascioni to Patti Nyholm.