Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 14 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Half A Love Story
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.24.2013
SOME IMPOUND LOT
Detective Doug: "Go away, Kalinda! We are doing cop things!"
Kalinda: "I can't help feeling like you guys are covering up for Sarge Nozowitz."
Detective Doug: "Actually, I'm going to be honest with you. He was undercover for the DEA. He might be a dick but he didn't do this, and he's not the one hunting your former best friend and one true love..."
Kalinda: "That kind of car doesn't come with GPS."
Detective Doug: "Shit."
PRECINCT
Laura: "I swear to God I didn't know, Alicia. This is some bullshit."
Alicia: "Then who did?"
Will: "Yeah! Whose idea was it to lie about Alicia being in danger?"
Detective Doug: "Look at my striking good looks! I was just trying to solve a murder! The murder of the man who loved you and you didn't know it!"
Alicia: "Okay. Go fuck yourself."
She actually says that. As much as I didn't like the honk-honk trick with bad words in that one case? Remember how much I hated that? That's precisely how much I love it here, with Drunk Irish Captain as the gun on the mantel from the beginning. It doesn't work perfectly, but considering how often I wish Alicia would tell everybody to fuck off, it works quite well enough for me.
SHAMROCK
His Eminence: "That's so sad about how you're a huge drunk that embarrassed himself at this Shamrock Dinner."
Mike: "But I'm not! Peter Florrick punched me!"
His Eminence: "Oh girl."
His Eminence: "Alicia Florrick! I have been wanting to hang out with your flawless self all night, girlfriend!"
Alicia does this whole curtsey thing that is amazing, and then blushingly -- and it's so smooth -- admits she looked it up online. Just a paragon, this chick.
His Eminence: "So either your son got arrested for pot, which basically isn't even a drug, or you helped the cops solve a murder?"
Alicia: "The latter. The former is nonsense invented by a shitty old drunk."
His Eminence: "That's what your mom said."
Alicia: "Oh shit. You know, you really shouldn't talk to her. She is a bunch of bullshit."
His Eminence: "That bitch a straight-up diva!"
(I don't know any Catholic priests, but old gay dudes aplenty have I known.)
Eli: "What happened, what did he say, what was just going on?"