Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Velveteen Habit
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.27.2003
Palmer holds an emergency meeting of his staff -- or whoever it is who accompanied him to California. They discuss the recent bio-terrorism emergency and discuss calling off the debate. Brother Palmer argues that they're not on any official terrorism alert, so it's not necessary. However, he thinks they might want to consider leaving Los Angeles. Aaron Pierce, Head Secret Service Guy from Days One and Two, enters and tells Palmer that Dr. Anne wants to see him. Wow, Aaron's back. Of all the people on Palmer's staff to keep around…Palmer tells him to tell Dr. Anne that he's busy. Then he changes his mind and tells Aaron that he will in fact speak to her. What? They just spoke a few minutes ago. Anyway, Brother Palmer asks Palmer if it's such a good idea to talk to Dr. Anne, and seems alarmed when Palmer insists on doing so. Dr. Anne enters, and Brother Palmer gives her this totally icy stare. What? They were just speaking to her. What's with the drama? Dr. Anne and Palmer go into a private room. Dr. Anne gives Palmer some red herrings -- I mean, "pills" -- and tells him to take them twice a day to help his "energy." What's in them? Speed? Hey, if it worked for JFK…Palmer argues that he's fine. Dr. Anne insists that he take them, and asks him why he looks so upset. "It's just going to be another one of those days," says Palmer prophetically. Dr. Anne asks him what he means. Jeez, Dr. Anne. Don't you read the papers? Don't you know the significance of L.A.? Did you at least rent the first two seasons on DVD? Palmer doesn't answer her and makes out with her instead. Woo hoo! Palmer's finally getting some.
Back at CTU, Kiefer is freaking out because his computer isn't working. Or at least he thinks his computer isn't working, as Special Agent Charlie Brown points out to him. After some more failed attempts to bring up some whatever data, Kiefer asks Special Agent Charlie Brown to patch everything up to his console in the Kiefer Kube. As Special Agent Charlie Brown passes by Chloe's desk, she asks him what Kiefer's problem is "today." Special Agent Charlie Brown claims he doesn't know. He enters Kiefer's Kube and asks Kiefer what he's "trying to do." Kiefer responds sharply that he's simply trying to solve this problem. "That's not what I'm talking about," says Special Agent Charlie Brown. "I know what they did to you. And I know what you did to yourself. You can't make that go away overnight." Kiefer tells him to mind his own business. "All I'm trying to say is that I'm here for you," says Special Agent Charlie Brown. "But today is not the day for you to prove to everybody that you're all better." He leaves Kiefer's office, closing the door behind him. Violins swell on the soundtrack as Kiefer starts to pant. He grabs a remote control and darkens the glass walls of his office. Apparently they have the same privacy feature as the dressing rooms in the Prada Soho flagship store. He goes over to a closet, unlocks it, and takes out a case. The music gets more driving and rhythmic. He opens the case, removes some rubber tubing and a syringe, and rolls up his sleeve. He slaps his arm, looking for a vein, and prepares to shoot up. Once his forearm is exposed, we, the viewers, can see that he has a strange tattoo on his forearm -- a tattoo identical to one we saw on Hartmano and BOH earlier. The screen splits to reveal Kyle's friend splashing around in the pool with those bimbos, Palmer meeting with his staff, and Felipe Hartmano hamming it up in his cell. Just as Kiefer is about to insert a (very short, mind you) syringe into his arm, his intercom buzzes. It's Spawn. Ruining everything as usual. In fact, I can totally see Spawn needing a glass of water just about every time Kiefer and Bride of Kiefer were about to do it. "Daddy, I'm scared of the dark. Why is Mom wearing a maid's outfit?" At the sound of his daughter's voice, he struggles with the needle and finally throws the works against the wall. Just say no, Kiefer. The time is 01:59:58…01:59:59…02:00:00 PM.