Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 131 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Zane's World
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2005.02.13
Up in the nonexistent attic, Raige flips past the double entry for Shakti and Shiva in the Book of Shadows, and lands on a page devoted to "Mercury Demons," which is evidently Drake's Underworld clan. Because I like to be thorough, I'll transcribe the entry here:
Millennia ago these demons worked in the service of Mercury, the self proclaimed Roman God of thievery. In modern times, they've evolved into a powerful clan of upper level Demons. Hatched from eggs that incubate in the eternal flames of Some Completely Illegible Location Down In Hell, these Demons have the power to fire thermal blasts that can take down lesser demons in one shot. Though this power makes them formidable foes, they can be vanquished with the Power of Three.
All of that is [sic], by the way, though that "self proclaimed Roman God" bit is a lovely callback to what Big Gay Chris told his mother about Greek and Roman mythology in the fifth-season finale. Also, Billy Zane hatched from an egg. Snerk. Sort of explains the way he looks, doesn't it? In any event, Zane improbably continues to amuse me through the blather that follows -- during which he and Raige basically repeat everything I've typed in the paragraph above -- especially when he plants a finger on the Power of Three citation at the end of the entry. Raige, you see, is flabbergasted that he's able to touch the Book, and Drake's reaction? Is first to mock her hushed, disbelieving tone with one of his own as he murmurs, "Oh, my God! So I did!" then to start drumming his fingertips and wiping his hands all over the open pages before hammering at the thing with his elbows while sing-songing, "I guess that means I'm good!" Hee. "Stop it!" Raige snarls, batting his hands away. As Raige snorts that the Book's been tricked before, he instantly adopts an expression of faux-wounded innocence, but there's still a mischievous gleam in his eye. He's way too good for this show. Anyway, there follows a brief recitation of the personal losses Raige incurred the last time the Book was fooled into believing a demon's supposed innocence, but I totally wasn't paying attention because I was too busy glowering at the cap sleeves on Raige's tacky, BeDazzlered blouse. Drake eventually determines that Raige's bad past experiences have left her "indecisive." Raige, of course, disputes this before basically confirming it by waffling all over the goddamned room about one fucking thing or another. Drake kindly notes that our mistakes are what make us human. Unfortunately, this point is blown to pieces by the arrival of the Feebs, who proves through her very existence that some mistakes are actually quite monstrous. Introductions are made, and Phoebe is shocked and appalled to discover that Raige has brought an ex-demon into the Manor. Yeah, look who's talking. Bitch.