Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 131 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Zane's World
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2005.02.13
Piper sure as hell doesn't, apparently, for she pretty much ignores Phoebe's blithering in favor of dumping the blubber wad on a changing table and wrestling with its diaper while Phoebe goes on and on and on and on about the corporate contrivance established to inject a bit of peril into Billy Zane's soon-to-be-introduced storyline this evening. Um. Ooops! Spoiler! Phoebe, by the way, is sporting nothing more than a flimsy, low-cut pink satin camisole that I'm certain she'll be treating as actual daywear for the remainder of the episode, and the NIPPLES are rather distractingly pointing in two different directions. The ladies natter about the failed experiment with Utopia for a bit before indulging in an unfunny bit involving the massive load Tiny Gay Chris has dropped in his pants. Once this is done, Piper hauls the blubber wad over to a bassinet near the kitchen table and wonders if Phoebe could watch the kids that evening, as she and the Dolt will have to deal with the nightclub in her manager's absence. Phoebe -- AGAIN -- makes this All About Her by glumming, "Sure. Of course. I mean, it's not like anyone's proposing to me, or like anyone's sending me flowers or reciting me poetry. So much for the little girl I saw in my vision." Ack. Arrgh. Nrrrfffugh. First of all, Phoebe, you were guaranteed that little girl only if you followed through on the whole Utopia thing, and since you didn't, that little girl has gone the way of annoying Melinda, Piper's phantom child from the second season. Secondly, that little girl you saw in your vision was a mentally defective troll, so no big loss. And finally, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID, SELF-CENTERED HAG.