Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When Worlds Collide
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 02.13.2005
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3:40:48. TerrorTeen is still making use of the waiting room, NonTerrorUncle is letting him, and wherever Air Force One is now, it's dark outside. Now I'm more confused than ever, because didn't we hear in the first episode that Keeler was heading back to Washington, D.C.? Where it's not even 7:00 PM yet? ["If it's supposed to be taking place at this time of year, it would be dark in D.C. by about 6 PM EST. This still doesn't explain why they're apparently flying back to the capital by way of Brazil, but whatev." -- Sars] Keeler's on the line with Kiefer, who's foolishly telling him that TerrorTeen is probably in on the TerrorPlan. The Prez is balky about granting "clemency to a terrorist," but Kiefer insists that he doesn't see a choice given the timeframe they're working in. "I'm uncomfortable with this, but I trust your judgment," POTUS says. "I'll release the letter." After they hang up, POTUS says to the nearest suit, "Make sure that document is non-binding." We cut away before the guy tells the prez that he simply needs to misspell his name as "President Keillor."
Over at CTU, DoDder is just finishing up on the phone when Lispy Skip comes up to her to get the scoop. You'll be astounded to hear that she struck out. I'm sure she tried real hard, too. She makes excuses about all the people stuck on the congested freeway, and how the police and National Guard have to "throw their resources into saving the maximum number of lives," but Skip isn't impressed: "If my mother were rich or a politician, they'd find a way to save her." He stomps off before DoDder can tell him that, actually, if his mother were a member of the Cabinet, she'd have been taken out by a missile strike by now.
Skip walks past a blue-tinted electronic map showing an expanding red cloud on his way back to his desk to tell his mother she's fucked. It's 3:42:23. He picks up the phone and gets through to his mom again, and he explains that he tried everything but couldn't get her any help. Yes, he approached the one person at CTU who wasn't there when he managed to single-handedly shut down ninety eight out of 104 nuclear reactors across the country. Astute move, that. MamaSkip, of course, is all understanding and forgiving and sweet and brave about it. I wish Skip's mom were Emily Gilmore, bitching about how the National Guard came and expected her to ride in the back of a truck that smelled like diesel fuel, sitting next to some neighbor who sort of snubbed her thirty-five years ago, and she wanted no part of that, and she doesn't hold much stock in this whole radiation thing anyway, if she starts to feel woozy she'll just put her head in the microwave for a couple of hours, if it can keep radiation in it can keep it out, and how inconsiderate of Skip to let this happen in the first place, really, but she'll be fine, don't worry about her another moment. But no, MamaSkip has decided to go gently into that good night (as opposed to going baldly and vomitingly into it). As she talks bravely yet obliquely about doing herself in, Skip tries to keep her on the line, feeling helpless and miserable and trying to keep his shit together. She gives him a long, uplifting speech before finally hanging up on him. Skip sits there for a minute before getting up and grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair (which has been there all along. It has!) and starting to walk out. Driscoll happens along just in time to intercept him and ask where he's going. He explains about his mother, but since there are still five other reactors ready to melt down and Driscoll has either fired, tortured, or been spied upon by all of her other computer people, she can't spare Skip right now. Although she leaves out that middle part. Skip's about to blow right past her, but she says he can obey orders or end up in a cell. Skip's like, "Arrest me for trying saving my mother's life?" Oh, and the millions of lives he saved a couple of hours ago. Don't forget those. Driscoll changes tactics, telling Skip that there's nothing he can do for his mom. "Suppose your mother were here right now. What would make her proud? What would she want you to do?" Skip admits that she'd want him to help, and he goes back to work. So Driscoll eventually gets around to being an effective manager sometimes, if not a good one. Just not on the first try. Ever.
3:45:55. While CTU agents are setting up something technical in TerrorMom's hotel room, Kiefer comes up to her and hands her the non-binding pardon that the President faxed. "This is acceptable," she whispers. Kiefer asks where TerrorTeen is, and TerrorMom says he's at "Lindower Memorial Hospital." Agent Castle tells his walkie-talkie to set up a perimeter around the hospital. Kiefer tells TerrorMom to call her son and let him know they're coming. She nods and takes the phone as Kiefer explains that they have to record the call. Deal-breaker! No, not really. She dials.