Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When Worlds Collide
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 02.13.2005
3:55:24. NonTerrorUncle is still dead (and he looks pretty angry about it), DoDder is still useless, and Soul Patch is still driving Kiefer and TerrorMom to the hospital.
TerrorDad continues to drag TerrorTeen down the stairwell. This is a tall hospital.
As the PatchMobile approaches, Kiefer spots the hospital security guards scurrying around like somebody shot a pharmacist or something. "Something's wrong," TerrorMom says. As Soul Patch parks, Kiefer orders a cordon set up around the hospital and hops out. "I'm going with you," TerrorMom says. "No you're not!" he snaps, and he's gone, gun drawn.
Inside a hospital hallway, Kiefer asks a security guard what's going on. The guard explains about the shooting, and asks who Kiefer is. Kiefer holsters his weapon as he identifies himself. No badge, though. The guard, who is awfully helpful to this guy who just charged in with a gun and a bulletproof vest, assists Kiefer in figuring out that TerrorDad is on his way to the east parking garage. Kiefer wants the security guards to back off. Aw, poor hospital security. They never get any excitement, and then a terrorist shows up and they don't even get to play with him. As Kiefer runs to the elevator, he calls Soul Patch to tell him to have everyone meet him on the east side of the hospital. Kiefer finally gives up on the elevator and takes the stairs. Different stairs from the ones TerrorDad's on, obviously. Soul Patch hops back into the PatchMobile, trying to reassure TerrorMom, who knows something's up.
TerrorDad emerges into an underground parking garage. "I hate you!" TerrorTeen yells at him. Hey, calm down. We've all forgotten where we've parked on occasion. "I've always hated you. The only reason I never said so was because I was afraid of you. And I'm not afraid of you any more." TerrorDad tries to force TerrorTeen into his car. "Go to hell," TerrorTeen says, which earns him an open-handed smack across the face. Hey, TerrorDad doesn't even have his gun out any more and he's only holding on to the kid with one hand. TerrorTeen must have learned his kidnapping-resistance skills from first-season Spawn. Needless to say, TerrorTeen ends up in the shotgun seat of the car.
At 3:57:32, the PatchMobile screams down the ramp into the parking garage as the unauthorized agent ferries the invaluable suspect onto the scene where all the shooting's going to take place in a minute. Agents on foot take up position along the side of the ramp, pointing their guns downhill. Soul Patch calls Kiefer on his cell phone to tell him he's in the ramp, and Kiefer says he's almost there.