Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When Worlds Collide
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 02.13.2005
"He has no right to give me orders," Castle bitches at Kiefer. "Hey, c'mere," Kiefer says softly, and pulls Castle into a tender kiss. Except by "tender kiss" I just mean "quiet corner." Where they share a tender kiss. No, not really. I'll stop now. Kiefer can't just come out and tell Castle that torture is only a good idea when Kiefer's doing it, so he simply explains that TerrorMom was willing to die before she gave anything up via brute force. They need to find some leverage. Of course, by "leverage," Kiefer always means "kids." He whips out his phone to make a call to Driscoll while Soul Patch comforts TerrorMom in the hotel room. Not like that, all right? Kiefer tells Driscoll that he's going to be sending her TerrorMom's prints and photos, and he wants all "relevant databases and electronic communications." That sounds kind of hard. Do we suddenly have all day? After Driscoll snaps, "Got it" and hangs up (presumably to say, "Wait, what did he just ask me?"), Kiefer turns back to Castle. "I understand your concerns about Soul Patch," he velvets, "but for me, just give him a break, okay?" Castle agrees, because he's still hoping for a tender kiss at some point. Soul Patch calls them back in to tell them that TerrorMom's arm looks like she's been shot in the past couple of hours.
TerrorTeen, meanwhile, is just arriving at a hospital pharmacy, where everyone's gathered around the TV watching the live coverage of the nuclear plant evacuation. Behind the counter, a bald, angry-looking Middle- Eastern pharmacist hangs up the phone, turns to see TerrorTeen, and, if possible, becomes even more angry-looking. He comes out to talk to TerrorTeen, expositing that the meltdown is causing a panic and a run on iodine pills. TerrorTeen assures him that he's not there for that; he needs pain meds for TerrorMom's back. NonTerrorUncle looks a little taken aback and more than a little suspicious at this. And also angry. TerrorTeen explains that TerrorMom couldn't get through to her doctor for a prescription. NonTerrorUncle angrily promises to see what he can do and goes back into his office, looking troubled. But still pretty angry. Out of TerrorTeen's line of sight, he pulls out his cell phone and makes a call. Angrily.
To…TerrorDad! Why is he calling his brother-in-law instead of his sister in this situation? He must be angry at her. NonTerrorUncle tells TerrorDad that TerrorTeen is at his pharmacy, asking for drugs and acting strangely. TerrorDad, thinking fast, tells NonTerrorUncle that he thinks TerrorTeen is on drugs and asks NonTerrorUncle, as he's hopping into his car, to keep TerrorTeen there until TerrorDad arrives in about fifteen minutes. So I guess with all the driving around TerrorTeen and TerrorMom did last hour, they didn't really cover much ground. Maybe TerrorTeen isn't allowed to drive outside the city limits or something. NonTerrorUncle snaps his cell phone shut, and the camera pans out to the waiting room and the terminally clueless TerrorTeen stressing out on the sofa. It's 3:24:55.