Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Pssst. Lauren's evil. Pass it on.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.10.2004
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Syd and Weiss enter, and Syd takes a seat right next to Lauren. Dix tells the troops that a cyber-terrorist attack has been launched and that it launched from a server in Berlin. Within 24 hours, it's estimated that the virus will consume over half of all internet bandwidth. Marshall pipes up that the virus is targeting hospitals, medical research facilities, and the like. Jack states that 20 terabytes of patient data and research databases have already been corrupted. (And yes, I looked up "terabyte" -- it's a storage definition. Don't you know me at ALL by now?)
Syd's all, so, what? The Covenant is behind this? I don't know why she's even asking. The Covenant's behind everything. Terrorism. The war on Iraq. The mysterious force that steals one of my socks from the dryer every time I do laundry. Bellybutton lint. Cargo pants. Everything. Dix states that, since The Passenger is a bio-weapon (because it is, you know, IT IS), the CIA is assuming that the Covenant is launching a precursor attack on all things medical, making sure that when The Passenger is launched, hospitals and medical facilities won't be able to deal with it.
"Are these our only leads?" asks Lauren, causing Syd to look over at her sharply, obviously seeking the invisible antennae and satellite dish that she imagines should pop right out of the top of Lauren's head so she can immediately communicate any insider CIA information to her outside partner. Please, Syd! Lauren's far too sophisticated for a clunky move like that! No, she'll just slink outside and…go around the corner and use her cell phone to call her boyfriend with the info. She won't even leave Oops Center to do it! That's how bloody clever she is! Marshall answers Lauren's question by stating that the virus code has all the markings of some hacker named "Cypher," and he operates out of Berlin. Looks like Vaughn and Syd are brushing up on their German. They head off to get their op-tech from Marshall, as Lauren glares after them, doing everything but getting up onto the conference table and screaming, "Keep yer hands off mah man!" God, she's truly awful. In every sense of the word.
Marshall's Garage of Geekiness. Marshall enters, followed by Vaughn and Syd and Syd's newly appearing bangs. What, did she stop on the way to Marshall's just to fix them? Was she all, Vaughn? Hang on a minute. I need a pit stop. And then she rushed into the bathroom, whipped out her cordless curler, and went to town on her fringe? I just…these are the things that bother me about this show. Well, these things and the fact that NOTHING EVER MAKES SENSE. Okay, so, anyway, comedic Marshall moment ensues, including the reveal of his super-secret hacker name: Black Kitty. Heh. That's a nice hacker name, Marshall. For a GIRL. So, this Cypher guy is supposed to be at an underground club in Berlin tomorrow night.
Vaughn wants to know how they'll identify the guy, seeing as he's so private about his identity. Marshall introduces them to a pair of very cool sunglasses that double as a wireless sniffer. The glasses will locate Cypher and then, by pressing a button on the side or something, the glasses then will send Cypher a message. Oh, whatever. I can barely keep my glasses free of finger smudges and udon noodle soup splashes, so these glasses would be toast in my hands. "Are we sure he'll have his computer with him?" asks Syd. "Does a cowboy leave his gun at home when he goes to the saloon?" quips Marshall. Syd and Vaughn don't even crack a smile. "Em, erm, trust me," sweats Marshall, "he'll have it."